Losing someone close to you is one of those rare occasions where no matter what someone may say to you, there is nothing that can be said to eliminate the pain. Nothing that can quite take away the aching sadness and heartache that comes alongside with losing someone that is so dear and close to your soul. There are simply no words that can heal you.

Each and every one of us can recall a moment where we’ve experienced this heavy pain in one way or another. The loss of a loved one. The loss of a friend. The loss of someone you may have known for even just a split second. Perhaps even the loss of a pet. The list goes on.

And in these moments, I’ve learned that there is nothing anyone can say to you that can fill the void that is now empty in your life. Nothing that can replace the hole in your heart that is now wider and bigger than what may now feel like life itself.

However, to you, the person who lost someone close to you, this is for you.

Yes, there are no words that another person can say to you to make you feel whole again right now. There are no gestures of love or gestures of compassion that can take away all of your misery or suffering in this moment right now.

But I want you to know that on the other side of darkness—on the other side of death—is also life. And in times where perhaps a soul was taken from us far too early in this world, now is your chance to appreciate that life and the impact that it had on this world.

Now is your chance to appreciate the memories, look back on the good times, and use your pain and discomfort to grow from it all, as hard as it may be right now.

They say that time heals all wounds, and although that may be true, they forget to tell you that time also still leaves scars. They forget to tell you that although you will feel better with time, the scar that it leaves behind will be there forever. It’s forever etched in your memory, and if you dig deep enough, you may still be able to feel what once you felt when the scar was first carved.

But like life and death, scars not only serve as fragments of pain, but also as reminders of light. Reminders of what you’ve been through. Reminders of what you’ve gone through. Reminders of how strong you are. And reminders that you always grow through what you go through in the end. You always walk away stronger.

Because you see, in life, there is always yin and yang. There is always light and darkness. But I guess what I’ve learned is most important in life and most critical when pain enters your life is to still find the good in everything and trust that although what you’re feeling right now is validated and understandable, we can always choose to see the good in the seemingly bad.

We can choose to see the smiles, the laughs, the happy pictures, and the joyous times, and we can choose to remember those moments. We can choose to hold them close to us whenever we feel sadness or anguish creep in.

So to you, the person who lost someone close to you:

You are so much stronger than you even know. Although you may be hurting, although you may be grieving, you are also growing. You are also learning to appreciate life and all those that you love just a little bit more than before.

You are learning to work through your pain and find inner strength from within. To not just carry on with your life, but also take the valuable lessons and experiences that you’ve had, to add just a little more happiness into this world.

You’re doing the best that you can. And although your feelings right now will fade with time, the scar that will serve as a reminder of your pain will also serve as a reminder of your courage, your growth, and of what truly matters most in this life—the things we too often take for granted.

This is to you, the person who lost someone close to them.