For me personally, heartbreak was one of the most challenging yet transformative times of my life. Although it was one of the hardest experiences I’ve ever had to feel, it also taught me that though another person may be able to hurt you, they should never be able to break you. You are your own source of happiness, and once you realize this, you can love more fully, be more vulnerable, and achieve a sense of inner happiness and freedom that you may never thought was possible.

Here are four ways to heal your broken heart:

1. Allow yourself to accept and feel the pain.

This is probably the last thing you want to hear when you’re in pain. But at the very same time, this is also the most important step, as awareness is the first step to change. Give yourself permission to feel the hurt, the pain, and the discomfort. Give yourself permission to feel the many colors and shades of black that encompass a gentle heart that was torn into two.

So often we shy away from this pain, but it’s only when we truly allow ourselves to feel it that we can gain perspective on the situation and realize that perhaps we were given a gift in disguise. You see, everything may not happen the way that we had hoped, but it does serve a vital purpose in our lives.

And once we’re able to accept the discomfort and anguish that we’re feeling, we can finally move on from it.

2. See things from a new perspective.

Although this one relationship didn’t work out the way you had hoped, that doesn’t mean that you are doomed to be alone. When we’re hurt, we jump to all kinds of conclusions about our fate and our life. But the reality is, life is always working for you. You are always flowing with the current of life, and although things may seem bad now, it’s so important to challenge ourselves to see a new perspective and look at things with an open mind and heart.

Perhaps this person wasn’t the one for you. But perhaps they weren’t meant to be.

Perhaps life is giving you exactly what you may need right now, rather than just what you want. Instead of resisting this moment right now, let’s welcome it and trust that everything happens for a reason that is ultimately for our best.

3. Find something that you’re passionate about.

When the world was dim and my headspace was cloudy, I needed something to focus on. I needed something to take my mind off the aching pain, but more importantly, build back up my confidence that was lost from a tender broken heart. For me, that was when I found writing. I fell in love with creativity and writing became not just my outlet, but my passion for expression and courage.

For you, though, this doesn’t have to be writing. For you, this can be anything from drawing to playing guitar to playing a sport that you love. For you, this could be anything.

But when you find something that you’re passionate about, you find who you are again. You find that inner confidence and happiness in yourself once more and realize that although you may be hurting right now, your pain will eventually become a scar that will remind you of how strong you once were. Because at the end of the day, our scars serve as so much more than a reminder of our pain, but rather, a reminder of our perseverance, our courage, and our trust for something better to come in our lives.

4. Use this as a lesson to grow.

Throughout my life, I’ve had my heart broken a few times. But every single time, I’ve learned something new about myself, what I want, and most importantly, what I deserve. The same goes for each and every one of us—you deserve to be loved fully, to be accepted wholly, and to be happy unconditionally. Use this painful experience as a time to focus on yourself, to grow, and to look within.

We are not what happens to us, nor should we ever be defined by how another person may feel about us. Life is meant to be beautifully enjoyed, and every experience—every moment—is a moment to learn from, to grow from, and to appreciate.

Heartbreak is one of the most challenging times of your life. There is no question about it. But on the other side of the spectrum is an amazing opportunity to allow yourself to feel the pain and use that discomfort to fuel you. To look within, to look beyond what’s external, and to look deeply into yourself to what’s ultimately inside of you.

Let this painful experience become the moment you decided to change. To change the way you view yourself and the world. The moment you made a decision to look deep within and deeper into life. Because although this person wasn’t meant for you, they will always serve as a passing character in your life’s story that taught you so much more about yourself and what you ultimately deserve.

You deserve love, and heartbreak only teaches you what it means to love more fully. You are whole and complete just the way you are, and soon, your light will come. Soon your moment will come. But in the meantime, love fully, allow yourself to be as vulnerable as you can be, and keep living in a way that’s true and honest with who you really are.

That’s all we can do at the end of the day. But if we do so, the right one will always find us.