I cannot argue enough how fragile masculinity is. It makes being a twenty-something gay male very difficult. The bar scene turns into trying not to get your ass beat for making harmless small talk. I say “How’s your night going?” and some macho dude is under the impression that I had just asked him sleep with me. The need to overcompensate is so annoying. When were people not allowed to talk? Last time I checked I am a human too. The first time it happened I retracted, it made me feel like there was something wrong with me.
I was standing at a table and turned to the person next to me and asked them how everything was going. They didn’t even answer my question they just immediately said; “I’m not gay just so you know. I’m cool with it, but I’m not gay.” Thank you very much for approving of my life random stranger. I sheepishly replied that I was just trying to make conversation, but he wanted to make sure I was aware of his love for women.
Usually when people need to convince you of something they’re mostly convincing themselves, but regardless the guy was an ass. His buddy came over and threw his arms around the two of us and asked us to look for his drink. I just looked at them both and said, “Apparently I’m too busy hitting on your friend here.” They gave each other a shocked look and FLED. I was left to fully absorb what exactly had just happened.
I would like to say that this stuff doesn’t bother me anymore but it does. I once punched someone in the face because I thought he said, “You’re retarded for being gay.” I don’t put up with that shit. Don’t flatter yourself men. The worst part is I know I’m not the only one to experience this. Since when has the world turned to a place of immediate rejection because of who you are?
I’m not saying all straight white men are the problem, but they’re definitely a big part of the problem. It’s a mixture of entitlement and the desire to be hypermasculine. For now, and in the future I’ll navigate this heavily hetero world we live in and keep my head up.