You’re sorting a couple of old stuff in your room when you recognized a piece of clothing that belonged to someone you have been forcing out of your mind for so long. You stared at it for a moment and suddenly got that all too familiar feeling, wondering if it will ever come to a stop. Will you ever get tired of it?
You miss him… again. You can’t help but feel dismayed at the situation, at yourself. You felt as if you are in this never-ending cycle, unable to step out of it at all.
But let me tell you this… do not acknowledge the disappointment. You don’t have to. You’re allowed to miss him, to miss how everything was.
How you’re feeling right now does not make you weak. Nor does it mean that you are taking a step backward. If anything else, how you’re feeling should be considered as part of your progress. You are brave enough to look back and admit to yourself that all of it is now just a part of your past.
He is just a part of your past… and will remain that way.
You cannot miss something if you have not walked away from it, if you have not left it behind. And as you move forward, the more progress you make, the more you are reminded of how things were and how different you are now compared to the girl you used to be.
Missing him is not the same as nurturing your feelings for him.
Missing him does not mean that you still love him.
You can be reminded about it every now and then, and miss him from time to time, but you have changed a lot in the amount of time that you guys are apart… and so is he. Truth be told, he is not exactly who you’re missing. You miss the person he was when you were together… just like how you miss what you had with him.
Who he is right now is a complete stranger to you.
Apart from still knowing his face and his name, you probably won’t be able to tell things about him anymore… how he likes his coffee, or if he even still drinks coffee. And you are aware of this because you are not the same girl he fell in love with.
You are no longer the girl he left behind.
His memories cannot be possibly archived and left unnoticed and this is not something to feel sad about. Everything that transpired had molded you into a better and wiser person. You may feel stuck, but you know you’re not… because you have given up on the hope of getting back together with him. You have long ago let go of the idea of a future with him. You’re at peace with everything that happened, the good and the bad. You’re genuinely happy with where your heart is.
So please, next time you miss him, instead of feeling sorry for yourself… smile for doing a great job at moving forward with your life.