Sometimes lost love is a lesson. We realize who we are, or who we’ve strayed away from. We realize the patterns, the habits we’ve fallen into. We realize how far we’ve wandered from the truths we’ve built our lives upon, or the people we’ve pushed ourselves to be. We realize that in being with a specific person, we’ve lost sight of our goals, our plans, our purpose. We realize that, even though we may have loved someone with the entirety of our being, loving them has hurt us rather than helped us. And as much as we care, as much energy as we’ve put into the relationship, as much time and heart we’ve invested, sometimes it’s healthy and necessary to walk away.
Sometimes lost love is a healer. We find ourselves wandering in the wake of our breakups. We find ourselves faltering, unsteady, confused. We find our feet no longer know where to tread, or our hearts seem to beat out of sync. We find that we don’t quite know who we are without that other person beside us. But then, we also find our lives are shifting in beautiful, powerful ways. We find that what has cracked us has not destroyed us. And we learn, day by day, piece by piece, to assemble our souls back together again.
Sometimes lost love is a teacher. After a breakup, we take steps away from who we were—individually, and with that person—and learn who we can become without them. We discover the strength in making our own choices, in carving our own futures. We create new rhythms to dance to, new melodies to hum. We take what was broken and let it soften us. We learn that love is not dependent upon a specific person, but a feeling we have in our chests when we choose to fall into someone, when we choose to create and believe and embody that feeling in our hearts and actions every single day.
Sometimes lost love is a reminder. Of who we are. Of our worth. Of the impermanence of this world and how we can forever continue to move forward, despite what’s been destroyed in the past. Of the possibility we have to be someone else, to be with someone else, to start over, to find something far more beautiful than what was.
Sometimes lost love is a blessing. Because despite the pain in our chests, despite the ways our lives have fallen apart, despite all that we believed we would have forever, we’ve learned there is plenty more to look forward to, many more lips to kiss, and an abundance of new beginnings with lovers who will value us, rather than leave.
Sometimes lost love shatters us, but not permanently. For each time we break we rebuild.