Let Love Transform You, Not Define You

happy couple taking a selfie, couple, let love transform you, let love build you, love doesn't define you
Twenty20 / chrislowe9

Love is not meant to be the answer to every question. It is not meant to be the one thing you search for, the most important aspect of this crazy, human world. Love is not supposed to be the truth, the solution, the explanation for who you are or will become.

Love is not meant to be your self-definition, and no matter who you tie yourself to or intertwine yourself with, your purpose on this earth is not determined by your relationship.

Love is not meant to be everything. Yes, you are supposed to love. Yes, you are encouraged to pour yourself into people and connections. Yes, you are supposed to celebrate what it means to be human, and give your heart away.

But the way you love, or are loved does not establish your worth.

So often we shy away from love. Whether we’re scared, or broken, or hesitant, or skeptical we push love away, thinking that we do not need it to survive. Thinking that we aren’t meant to find it, or that we are somehow undeserving of its beauty in our lives. Thinking that at the end of the day, without it we are simply nothing.

But all of that is untrue.

Love is one of the most beautiful things we experience, but it is not the epitome of why we are here. And yet, we can’t hold ourselves back from discovering it, from obtaining it, from feeling it run like electricity through our veins.

We can’t tell ourselves that we should be defined by it, controlled by it, or spend our days feeling less-than-enough because we haven’t found the forever kind yet.

We can’t let love validate our existence, but we can’t deny its power. We can’t pretend that it doesn’t fill us, and we can’t hold ourselves back from letting our hearts be overflown.

We must love. Love passionately. Love deeply. Love without fear, throwing caution to the wind. We must love with our entire beings, without regret, without wondering what could go wrong or whether we’ll be left broken in the end.

We should never let our relationships become the center core of who we are, but we also can’t pretend that love doesn’t build us into better people, and shape both the way we see the world around us and our reflection in the mirror.

Let love transform you, not define you. Let love bloom within you, not build your sense of self. Let love teach you, not tell you how to live. Let love become a part of you, not your identity.

Let love be a beautiful piece, a necessary piece, a fulfilling piece—not an answer.

And let it flow freely in. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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