Losing You Has Taught Me Who I Am

girl at sunset looking at city skyline, losing you, becoming whole
Ivana Cajina

Losing you, has shown me that sometimes people walk away from us. Sometimes we can give the entirety of our heart to a person and what they do with it is up to their discretion. Sometimes we step willingly forward, only to have someone lean in the opposite direction. Sometimes we can hope, we can trust, we can fight, only to have our determination fall flat and one-sided.

But losing you has taught me that when people leave, it does not determine my worth.

Losing you, has reminded me that I do not control the passage of time. That I am not in charge of the way the world works, or if two hearts will beat in sync forever. That I cannot change what happens to me, only how I choose to behave in the aftermath. That I am the ruler of my emotions, and mine only.

But losing you has shown me that my heart is beautiful, and I can choose where I go, who I love from this moment forward.

Losing you, has given me a reason to celebrate myself again. To put aside all my selfless hopes for the two of us, and bring my focus back on building myself. To entertain the silly thoughts, the wild dreams that I put aside in hopes of pursuing you, pursuing us. To relearn what it means to be whole.

But losing you reminded me that I was never any less than full.

Losing you, has done a number on my heart. It has tied my stomach in knots, made me hesitate, made it hard to breathe. It has made me question, made my resolve fade, made my feelings buzz and hum and beat in painful ways.

But losing you has made me realize the power of my emotions, the sensitive woman I am.

Losing you, has given me reasons to doubt, to lose faith, to never want to trust. Your actions have closed off parts of me, made me want to hold back. Your actions have caused me to hold people at arm’s length, waiting until they’re damn near perfect to show them the darker parts of me.

But losing you has shown me no one is flawless, and little by little, I’m learning to let go and let people in again.

Losing you, has caused me to question, to wonder, to ask myself if love is really worth it. You’ve made me feel broken, empty, confused, and frustrated. You’ve made me take a long, hard look in the mirror at the person I am and the choices I’ve made.

But losing you has shown me the person I am and forever will be—not one who walks, who betrays, who destroys—but one who stays, fights, loves, gives.

And one who, despite your leaving, will continue. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Life Getting Stale? This Book Will Inspire A “New You”

You leave
because you have to,
because leaving is necessary,
because your survival
depends on letting your soul shift
in the wind like a grain of sand.

Become the person who is open and soft, not harsh and hidden. And watch how the world opens to you in return.

“This poetry collection gave out a lot of realizations. I just have to be brave. I need to have strong heart, and a wise mind. And just because things are a mess right now, doesn’t mean they will stay that way until the end.” — Muggleboooks

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Hi! Here’s Some Amazing Poetry For You

“I hope your learn how to love yourself the way you love others — unconditionally and without hesitation; deeply, and from the softest parts of who you are. Because isn’t it a shame, that we are so quick to forgive the humanness in someone else’s soul, but we often forget to forgive ourselves. Isn’t it a shame, that we fight for others, we believe in them with such intensity, and such hope, but we often forget to fight for ourselves.” — Bianca Sparacino ✨

“Seeds Planted in Concrete is a very empowering read. It reminds you that you should love yourself first before anyone else.” — Alyssa

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