Here’s The Truth About Letting Him Go: You Don’t Want To, But You Must

Jeff Isy

There’s a reason why things ended the way they did. Maybe timing or distance, maybe personalities or a connection that faded over time. Maybe there was a subtle shift, or a colossal fight that was too big to move on from. Maybe you both just learned that you weren’t right for each other. Maybe it was the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make. Or maybe it was a decision that wasn’t made for you, so you’re aching and broken.

Regardless of the why, here’s the truth you need to hear: Love is imperfect because we are imperfect. And sometimes you fall out of relationships, but you can’t let them destroy you.

You will fall in love and you will crash and burn. You will meet people who light a fire in you, and sometimes that fire sputters and dies. You will let someone in and they will inevitably hurt you. You will hurt others. This is all a part of life and love.

It sucks. It will always suck. But the losses will never outweigh the gains. The love you will discover, the truths you will learn about yourself and another person, the happiness that two connected people creates—those are unmatched. And even if there is a little destruction in the end, even if things don’t go as planned, it’s still worth it. It will always be worth it to love.

But know this: When you fall out of love, it’s for a reason. And when you undergo a break up and he no longer is a part of your life, you must let him go.

It’s only healthy. After you’ve tried to fight, after you’ve decided that this is best, and especially when you know in your heart that letting each other go is best, you must move on.

You cannot allow your heart to be pinned to the shirtsleeve of a man you are no longer in a relationship with. You cannot allow yourself to hold onto what needs to be let go of.

You cannot cling, hoping that you can change his mind or hoping that some miracle will come and save your relationship. There’s a reason why the two of you are no longer connected, and as hard as it is, you must listen to that reason and know when to walk away.

It is not wrong to walk away, you know.

After the fighting is done and the swords have been set down. After the words have been said and the decision was made to say goodbye. Then, and only then, you must learn to part ways.

You must be strong enough to know that love will come to you when you are ready. You must be strong enough to know when to say goodbye, and know that letting go is not weak.

You have to trust that there is a reason. You have to trust that there will be another man, another relationship, another connection that will be built and nourished and made beautiful over time.

I know your heart hurts right now. I know you want to cling to him because all you’ve had for so long and you’ve gotten used to that feeling.

I know he’s made you smile, made you laugh, made your world feel so filled. And I know it seems empty without him. But you must let him go, sweet girl.

He must be set free to become the man he’s meant to be, even if that isn’t he man you knew. And you must become, must grow, must chase beautiful things in his absence.

Because good things are coming, so have faith and release. TC mark


Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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