Answers found on Ask Reddit
1.
“I asked her out by accident and kinda just went with it, turned out very good though.”
2.
“I watch Korean dramas with you because I also like them.”
3.
“You know how I came home yesterday with two boxes of girl scout cookies? I actually bought four boxes, two are my work cookies and two are our sharing cookies.”
4.
“When I gave you that chicken biscuit from Bojangles, I didn’t mean it. I was being nice. I actually wanted to eat it & resented the fact that you actually took it from me when I offered it.”
5.
“When you blow your nose in the shower and just leave snot on the wall, I wipe it off with your body scrubber.”
6.
“For the love of everything holy and/or purely scientific, please compliment me. Anything. Show interest in my day, say my hair looks nice, that you like the way I laugh. Just a sign that I’m not here as your personal morale booster and chatbot.”
7.
“I sometimes play connect the dots with the freckles on your back while you are asleep cause I know you won’t see it.”
8.
“Years before I even met him, I had a small crush on his older brother.”
9.
“All your problems could be solved with the smallest piece of foresight but you’re so impulsive and unprepared that you work yourself into hysterics. I resent the fact that I watch you do something impulsive and know I’ll hear you whine about it later.”
— lewdel00
10.
“I want to take a drill to your goddamn phone when you are so engrossed in it that you ignore the children.”
11.
“I apologize to you for things I know are your fault because I don’t like arguing.”
12.
“I lied. I don’t enjoy sharing my fries with you.”
13.
“I have at times eaten a spoonful or two of the pancake mix in the fridge straight-up just because it has chocolate chips in it. I am a disgusting human being.”
14.
“I used to be a heroin addict.”
15.
” The reason we run out of butter so often is because I eat it with sugar.”
16.
“I don’t really like your cat that much but it makes you so damn happy when I cuddle him so I do.”
17.
“For the first half of our relationship, I regretted dating you because I felt like I didn’t give myself enough time to move on. Now? I’m glad we met when we did and I love you more than anything.”
18.
“No, the fact is that I don’t like your friends.”
19.
“I wish you could loosen up a little more at times. I would love to see the more spontaneous side of you.”
20.
“I hate your family and if I’d known how all they were, I wouldn’t have married you.”
21.
“Even if we’re fine now, I really will never forget or understand all the times you treated me like dirt when we were having a rough time.”
— zinn7
22.
“Sometimes, during my regular bouts of sleep paralysis, I try to ask you for help. I obviously can’t.
The reason why you not reacting when I talk to you bothers me so much, is because it reminds me of those times. Sometimes I’m not even sure if I can trust whether or not I’m awake. It’s all incredibly uncomfortable and could be completely avoided.”
23.
“I don’t want to wait two years to move in together, even though I know it’s best for your kids. I want all three of you in my life all the time right now because I’m selfish and I love you all so damn much.”
24.
“It hurts me when you shut me out. I can’t keep up with the back and forth. One moment you’re all about me and let me in and then the next it’s back to shutting me out and running away. I don’t feel secure in our relationship at all despite loving you so much I’m just waiting for the day that you leave me.”
25.
“Even though it’s been three years and everything has changed, I’m still worried you’ll cheat on me again.”
26.
“I love you, but I know you gaslight me all the time. I don’t know if you know you’re doing it, but I hate it and the way it deteriorates my self-worth. One day you’re going to smother the voice of reason inside that reminds me it’s all gaslighting, and I’ll really believe everything is always my fault.”
27.
“Sometimes I fantasize about being away from you for days so that I can have time to myself.”
28.
“We are barely making it from pay check to pay check, the mortgage is late and I still haven’t been able to pay our car registrations. #fuckcancer and the medical bills it rode in on.”
29.
“I was lying when I said I cheated on you too. Idk why but I figured that if you thought I made the same mistake then you wouldn’t feel completely alone in being terrible. Apparently it worked.”
30.
“My antidepressants aren’t working at all and I’m so depressed and hate myself so much that getting up at all let alone bathe or put on makeup feels like the end of the world for me. I can’t get out of this hell hole I’m in and I wish I could die. I really really wish I would die… I’m trying so hard to keep it all together and not let you see how badly I’m breaking that I’ve been hiding my drinking problem from you. Because your dad just died, and it’s not about me right now.”
31.
“I love you to death but your conservative sexual tendencies are killing me and I don’t know how to ask you for more sexually because you’ve never once in 3 years tried to coerce me in to sex. It’s like if I don’t try you don’t want it. But I really love you and I can’t imagine being with another human.”
32.
“The sound of you chewing and mouth breathing makes me want to punch a wall.”
33.
“I definitely smoke pot all over the house when you’re out of town.”
34.
“Sometimes you text me and I don’t respond. But then I make a reddit post and I realize that I have to respond to your text because I know you be creepin my reddit.”
35.
“Not in a serious relationship, but for my current partner, it’d be ‘I’m sorry, but sometimes I feel resentful that you’re still alive and (my SO of three years ago) isn’t.'”
36.
“Sometimes I think you do things on purpose to hinder/slow down our relationship.”
37.
“I told you I couldn’t sleep, but the truth is you were snoring so loud I was fantasizing about smothering you with my pillow.”
38.
“I hate that you’re Bi, even though I’m a lesbian and I love you so much I can’t fucking take it and some days I just can’t deal with it so that’s why I won’t even look at you in the eyes. I’m sorry I hate your past life and can’t fully accept you for who you are. I suck.”
39.
“I’ve spent many many thousands more dollars on cars/racing than she thinks. At least $50k in the last few years. Wouldn’t change a thing. Constantly planning the next spending.”
40.
“That something happened between my best female friend (that she dislikes) and me. We were very flirty with each other since we met. When she got a boyfriend I had a conversation with best friend about this saying that we were crossing some limits and I thought it was wrong.”
41.
“On more than one occasion, I’ve stolen your sister’s dirty underwear. I would them in zip lock bags and use them to masturbate.”
42.
“Part of me really wants to have sex with your mom so I know what fuckin will be like when we’re both old married and over the hill.”
43.
“I’ve got it bad for your younger sister. She knows, and our close friendship has an awkward barrier because of it. One small part of the reason I am seeking therapy is to help me sort those feelings out besides helping me tackle my depression.”
44.
“I lost my virginity to your roommate.”
45.
“You’re not hot. You can’t dance. You’re kind of dumb. Most people have a hard time liking you. Most of the problems in your life are your fault. I would actually say all of this to your face, but…
You have narcissistic personality disorder.
You can’t take criticism and are incredibly resistant to any sort of change. I really hope you see your therapist in earnest and work to get better. I still love you.”
46.
“I’m secretly relieved that your dog died. He was a grumpy asshole who hated me and I lost hours of sleep every night to him licking and chewing his feet.”
47.
“I’m not really over my ex and you’re definitely a rebound.”
48.
“I think you’re gross a lot of the time, like, if you weren’t physically super sonic sexy, than you’d be ew lol.”
49.
“I hate it when you call to chat when you’re driving home. You’ll be here in like 20 minutes can’t it wait? I get that you’re just driving and have nothing else to do but I am usually in the middle of something and I have to stop to use the phone. But who wants to complain that their boyfriend wants to talk them? It’s so bitchy haha”
50.
“I liked you better before you became a mother.”
