To the ones who brought me down, thank you.
To anyone who ever talked about me behind my back, spread rumors about me, or thought poorly of me, I truly owe you one.
I used to be that girl who cared so deeply about what other people thought about me. I wanted to be liked, I wanted people to see me in a certain light – one that favored me. I wanted people to only have nice things to say about me. I mean, who doesn’t, really?
But I wasn’t naïve. I knew my name had at one point or another been in people’s mouths. I knew that there were people who disliked me, saw me in an unfavorable light, and didn’t have all nice things to say about me.
I don’t think self-conscious is the most accurate word to describe how that realization made me feel, but for lack of a better word, sure. Let’s say it made me self-conscious.
Then one day, I don’t know what exactly it was that hit me, but I woke up and no longer gave any fucks.
But really, if anything, this should make you happy. Happy, because I have grown so much as a person as a result.
One day you realize that it’s impossible to please everyone. You can’t make everyone happy, you can’t make everyone laugh, you can’t make everyone like you.
The day that you come to terms with this realization is truly such a liberating day. You’ve probably heard the quote, “You could be the ripest, juiciest peach, but there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches.”
So, the self-conscious girl inside of me got up and left one morning and I haven’t seen her since. And TBH, good riddance.
I’ve not only become more comfortable in my own skin because of this, but I’ve learned to really not care about what other people are saying.
Let’s face it – the only people who really have anything hurtful or negative to say about you are the ones who hardly know you. Isn’t that the way it always is? The ones who know you least always have the most to say. And quite frankly, if you don’t know me well enough to have a valid opinion, I don’t really care about your irrelevant opinion of me.
The ones who know me, love me, understand me, and know what I’ve been through or am going through in my life are the only ones whose opinions truly matter. Those are the only ones I need.
Not only have haters given me a thicker skin (did I really just say haters?), but they’ve taught me to be a much more accepting, non-judgmental person.
When I started to realize that people were talking about me or being judgmental, they were doing it during a time in my life where I had a lot of shit on my plate.
No, I am by no means making excuses because I admittedly said or did a lot of things during this time that although I do not regret, I am certainly not proud of. But the last thing I needed during this phase in my life were people being judgmental, hurtful, or mean. Little did I know though, maybe the last thing I needed ended up being the biggest blessing in disguise.
Because of these people, I’ve learned to judge no one. You have no idea what is going on in anyone’s life. You have no idea why people act a certain way or say or do certain things.
And if you don’t agree with someone’s choices, that’s fine because that’s life. But there’s seriously no need for you to add fuel to the fire by voicing your disapproving thoughts, because chances are, you’ve probably fucked up at one point in your life, too.
So, while this on the surface may seem like “an open F U to the haters” (I did it again), it’s really more so directed at anyone who has been in the same situation that I once have been.
Don’t let people get to you. The moment that you stop letting that happen is the moment that you start discovering who you are.