My Grandfather Was A Psychologist And I Found The Transcripts From A Session With His Most Twisted Patient

Arthur, my client, reached across the table and grabbed his glass of water at this time. His caretakers had mentioned that it was not uncommon for Arthur to go days without eating and many hours before drinking because of the event that transpired on the road trip. Take it as a trigger, as you may. Their explanation is that he claims, “Water and food just don’t go down like they used to.”

A: [gulping] So, we were about five hours into the trip and most of the cars had faltered off the highway. They were becoming far and few in between and, what do you know it, a half an hour after this and it starts snowing. I mean fucking snowing! It’s blowing all over the road, the kids are screaming that they want to build a snowman, it’s that inevitable. And it just keeps picking up and picking up and soon, walla. You can’t even see outside anymore.

M: And then what?

A: And then I tell Maisy that we have to pull over somewhere. As soon I say this, her woman kicks in. [laughs] You know, how they always think they’re right. That’s when she turns to me, and she says, I know exactly where we are! See that tree over there? [looks in disbelief] I gave her this look like, what the hell are you talking about? A tree?

M: What did she mean by ‘the tree’? She knew where you were because of a tree?

A: I know it sounds crazy, but that’s exactly what she meant. She pointed to this giant tree, red-tipped leaves, and she said, My father and I used to take walks here when we came on vacation. Remember I told you they had a cabin in this area? I know my way in and out of those woods surrounding that tree like the back of my hand. We can pull off and take that way as a shortcut when the snow stops falling. So here we were, in the middle of nowhere, and we pulled off of the highway and my woman tells me she’s familiar with this area. So, of course, I take her word for it. I pull over to this tree next to these long, spooky woods. Well, everything looks spooky when it’s dark. We wait there a good hour, just relaxing and talking while Stuart sleeps again. And then the snow stops, and we talk about our next move. Vera told me to drive and she would lead the way. She swore this way would save us an hour when we got the entire way through. Who am I to not trust my wife? She’s been right countless times before. Of course I trusted her.

M: How long did you drive before anything happened?

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