Madison Moore

Are you a top or a bottom? The wrong answer can ruin a perfectly good Saturday night.

But every time you miss something about the other person, think about two things you hated. If the things you hated add up to more than the things you liked, it’s time to let go.

Please bore someone else with your…questions.

If someone suddenly and magically disappears into thin air right when you need them most, that person is fake.

When you’re dating a narcissist you forever feel like you’re the one going after them. If it doesn’t work out with you, WHATEVER, because the narcissist will just easily coast to the next relationship.

Is it possible to have friends who are purely for the Internet, and others you get to interact with out in actual society?

Naked parties, naked runs, and other acts of synchronized stripping in the middle of campus. Usually occurs during finals week.

The overachiever is always the first person in the seminar to use words like “hermeneutics.” They come to class with detailed notes, typed, of course, so as to more easily access their flashes of brilliance.

A person tells you that New Haven isn’t that safe, but YOU will be A-OK because you’re black. Want to tell them that they will be OK at Bergdorf’s because they are white.

Phrase #9: Throwin’ shade, e.g. Girl why you throwin’ shade? Translation: Are you upset with me or something? Have I done something in particular to wrong you?

30. Carry a bag from a designer store as your everyday tote. I know your lunch is not from Yves Saint Laurent because those people don’t eat, so I don’t know why you just pulled a salad up out of that bitch.

3. There are a number of photos of you on the Internet doing “sexy” poses in skimpy outfits that are perhaps two to three sizes too small. In the photos you pose on top cars, in kitchens, bathrooms, door frames, etc.

“I’m thowin’ on my Louboutins.” Jennifer Lopez, “Louboutins.”

I know you were born with a vagina and everything, and so you think that’s enough to make you a woman. But guess what? No it’s not!

20. Hitting on the hot 20 something without being the creepy old daddy nobody wants to talk to.

People sometimes cut their ex’s out of their lives, even when they’ve been together for years. And that’s probably the key reason your best friend is your soul mate. For the most part he or she is not going to break up with you.

Undergrad is really just one big weekend stretched out over 4 to 6 years, depending on how many tests you make it to between the tequila shots.

Milk products that come from basically anyplace but cows. That’s pretty bougie. I’m talking rice milk, soy milk, almond milk, sheep’s milk, goat’s milk. Why isn’t regular milk good enough for people anymore!