Madison Moore

When you’re dating a narcissist you forever feel like you’re the one going after them. If it doesn’t work out with you, WHATEVER, because the narcissist will just easily coast to the next relationship.

Is it possible to have friends who are purely for the Internet, and others you get to interact with out in actual society?

Naked parties, naked runs, and other acts of synchronized stripping in the middle of campus. Usually occurs during finals week.

The overachiever is always the first person in the seminar to use words like “hermeneutics.” They come to class with detailed notes, typed, of course, so as to more easily access their flashes of brilliance.

A person tells you that New Haven isn’t that safe, but YOU will be A-OK because you’re black. Want to tell them that they will be OK at Bergdorf’s because they are white.

Phrase #9: Throwin’ shade, e.g. Girl why you throwin’ shade? Translation: Are you upset with me or something? Have I done something in particular to wrong you?

30. Carry a bag from a designer store as your everyday tote. I know your lunch is not from Yves Saint Laurent because those people don’t eat, so I don’t know why you just pulled a salad up out of that bitch.

3. There are a number of photos of you on the Internet doing “sexy” poses in skimpy outfits that are perhaps two to three sizes too small. In the photos you pose on top cars, in kitchens, bathrooms, door frames, etc.

“I’m thowin’ on my Louboutins.” Jennifer Lopez, “Louboutins.”

I know you were born with a vagina and everything, and so you think that’s enough to make you a woman. But guess what? No it’s not!

20. Hitting on the hot 20 something without being the creepy old daddy nobody wants to talk to.

People sometimes cut their ex’s out of their lives, even when they’ve been together for years. And that’s probably the key reason your best friend is your soul mate. For the most part he or she is not going to break up with you.

Undergrad is really just one big weekend stretched out over 4 to 6 years, depending on how many tests you make it to between the tequila shots.

Milk products that come from basically anyplace but cows. That’s pretty bougie. I’m talking rice milk, soy milk, almond milk, sheep’s milk, goat’s milk. Why isn’t regular milk good enough for people anymore!

As much as I love being out and wearing ridiculous things, I don’t go out of my way to approach new people or to try to make new friends, and I’m always envious of people who are able to do that.

I know we met on Grindr and all, but can you at least wait until the date is over before you open it back up? Sheesh.

Whenever I’m in a drinking situation and somebody new finds out that I generally stay away from alcohol, the first thing they do is tilt their head, furrow their brows and look at me like I’m some kind of unrecognizable foreign object. “You don’t…drink?”

It’s called the Flextuality test, and in a little under 15 minutes you can finally pinpoint your real sexual orientation once and for all. Take the test and you’ll see that there’s basically a range of twelve sexual types, starting with the “heteroflexibles” and the “supersexuals” ending with the last, very vanilla label of “straight.”