1. Keeping secrets from your partner. People say that there are some things you just shouldn’t tell your boyfriend or girlfriend, and I agree. But there’s a razor thin line between keeping secrets and hiding lies. A secret is not typically malicious but a lie is something you have to maintain and keep maintaining, usually to cover something else up. Not that all lies are malicious, but…
2. Being afraid to end it when the time comes. Nobody wants to be broken up with and nobody wants to be the person doing the breaking up. But that’s what you sign up for when you get into a relationship with someone that goes sour. It’s normal to have doubts in a relationship but when you know you want to end it, end it.
3. Being afraid to end it because you can’t deal with the hassle of finding someone new. Pretty much all there is to say about that one.
4. Too much contact and not enough freedom. Don’t be so possessive! You have to give yourself space to miss each other, not to mention time to do all the things you know your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want to do. Too much time together can make you sick of the other person. THat or it pulls you away from yourself.
5. Not ENOUGH contact. But ignoring your partner can also be a huge mistake. Maybe you put work or your art project first, and by all means, chase your coins boo boo. But nobody is ever too busy to be with someone they care about. If you want to make time for something, you will. You only avoid making time for things you’re not that interested in.
6. Saying “I Love you” too soon. “I love you” is not a magical catch-all that will solve all your relationship issues and problems the instant you say it, nor is it something you should say to keep your man on lock down. Say it when you really, really mean it, not as a band aid.
7. Feeling bored. Getting bored with the routine, getting bored with the sex, feeling like your partner is just plum BORING. But instead of settling on the boredom, try to imagine ways of keeping the heat and spice alive.
8. Letting the sex dwindle. Nobody has a right to your body, but if you’re a person who enjoys sex you should be having sex with your partner. If you’re not in an open relationship and you suddenly stop sleeping together, just know that somebody else will.
9. Trying to change the other person. People don’t change. Well, not really. People can learn from their mistakes, but you can’t force a person to dress how you want or to like the same music you like or to be into what you’re into. You should fall in love with people at face value.
10. Saying “nothing” is wrong when something is very clearly wrong. It’s either that or: “Are you mad at me?” Followed by the lie “No, why would I be mad at you?” When something’s wrong, confess. Communicate. Talk to your partner. Anything can be negotiated if you talk about it. The emotional up and down will drive your partner INSANE. If something’s wrong, be an adult and talk about it.
11. You don’t know what you want in life. The biggest relationship fail is not knowing what you want. And it’s the number one thing people say when they want out and are trying to save face and be gentle. “I don’t know what I want right now,” subtext: not you.