1. When you open up WhatsApp your most recent chat history is just full of boys you’ve been talking to. Literally all the boys. You type them in your phone as “James Tinder” or “Tyler Grad Student” because you’re talking to so many people at once it’s hard to keep them all straight. God knows how many Tyler’s are in your phone, wouldn’t want to get them confused!
2. You have honestly, with all seriousness, been in a relationship with someone for as long as you can remember. Maybe not the same person the whole time, but you’ve definitely not been single for a minute. You can’t even remember the last time your were single. Maybe junior high?
3. Casual sex is not really a thing for you. It’s not that you don’t like sex because actually you are extremely horny and like coming very hard. You just find it difficult to have wham-baam-thank-you-maam-never-see-you-again sex with someone you probably won’t see again.
4. It’s either that or you think that casual sex means it’s a relationship now — which, lol, tell that to the other girls he’s sleeping with!
5. You’re a serial monogamist if you start relationships with relative ease, no matter how much someone broke your heart the last time.
6. And that means you completely skip the dating process whereby you hang out, get to know each other and have fun before deciding that you’re going to be a thing now. What can you know about a person if you spend so little time getting to know them? NOTHING, THAT’S WHAT.
7. If you’ve ever said “I’m going to be single for a [specific amount of time]” you’re definitely a serial monogamist.
8. Really, deep down, you’re afraid to be alone.
9. You would rather be in a relationship as opposed to no relationship.
10. You know you’re a serial monogamist if your friends are totally not surprised that you’re already seeing someone new after your last break up.
11. You have no idea why your last relationship failed. Literally none.
12. Which means you keep dating the same person again and again.
13. You actually never break up with anyone, even if you’re unhappy, even if it isn’t working out. You let yourself be dumped every time because, well, you’ll find someone else.
14. You freak out because the guy you slept with didn’t call you back. “We had such a nice time, why won’t he call me back? :( :( :(” Uh…because he fucked you, that’s why.
15. Casual dating completely exhausts you because it’s exhausting.
16. Because you’re a goddamn catch so of course people want to be with you! It’s just, maybe if you slowed it down a little you would realise that they’re not actually right for you.
17. You sooo want to be in a long term relationship and yet most of your relationships stop before the three year mark. What gives?
18. Deep down you know you’re a romantic — nothing wrong with that! — but you can’t see the difference between wanting love and dating the wrong people back to back.
19. You’re a serial monogamist if the sex peters out in your relationships way, waaaaay sooner than it should. When you’re dating someone you guys need to be fucking. The moment you don’t want to have sex with your partner anymore and think its because you’re “busy” or “spaced out” just know it’s really because you’re experiencing relationship burnout. Serial monogamists burn brightly and passionately but flame out and get bored quickly.
20. You keep the mementos from all your previous exes — teddy bears, key rings, his t-shirts, etc — rather than just throwing them out like he tossed u out. He’s not in your life anymore but you can’t bear to throw away his old Nirvana t-shirt or the stuffed panda he got you for your birthday. Girl.
21. You go on a vacation/study abroad in another corner of the world and have a travel fling with someone amazing. We have all been there before, and if you haven’t, you need to have a conversation with your travel agent. When its time to head back home you honestly start thinking about how you could uproot yourself and move there to be with that person instead of letting it be an intense emotional thing you experienced for a week, something you will cherish but that you will eventually have to move on from.