You’ve met someone you really like. You hang out and the chemistry is there, at least for you anyway. But suddenly you find yourself in a dark pool of radio silence. He takes forever to respond to text messages, if he even responds at all. You stare at your phone and wait for him to reply. Your phone buzzes but it’s just some dumb email for zit cream. The silence drives you so mad that you turn your phone all the way off or put it on Airplane mode so you won’t be distracted waiting for a message to pop in.
It’s been, like, six hours so you think he must have replied to you by now. You power your phone back on and take it out of airplane mode to discover that, nope. He hasn’t.
You’ve been ghosted.
Being ghosted or ghosting someone is part of the dating game. When you meet someone new you’re never exactly sure how many other people they’re seeing or sleeping with and where you stand on that list.
Here’s the thing. If you have to wonder whether someone is interested in you, he’s not. If he doesn’t respond to your booty text, or your “let’s just hang out” text, he’s not interested. If he cancels on you at the last minute, he’s not interested.
If you ever spend time wondering whether someone is interested in you, he’s not.
It’s a hard lesson to learn because you really liked this guy and you thought he liked you, too. But the lesson I’ve learned about dating and relationships it’s that when someone is interested in you they will absolutely make time for you, no matter what is going on in their lives. You will know they care. You will never have to wonder whether they are interested, even if you have some self-doubt from time-to-time, which is healthy.
If you ever worry about why you’re waiting 10 hours or a few days for a response to a message, it’s time to move on.
In some ways “ghosting” someone is a drama-free way of using non-communication to communicate that you’re not interested. I think I’d rather be ghosted than have a guy tell me “actually I don’t like the way you breathe, so yeah it’s not gonna work for me :(”
I mean fuck you but fine.
It may not be that they didn’t actually like you. Maybe their situation changed: an ex popped back into the picture, they’re moving, they found out have a crabs or another STD that will take 6 weeks to clear up, or maybe they met someone they like better.
It happens in relationships, too, when you want to end it with someone but you don’t know how, so you make yourself unavailable.
But just remember that if you find yourself wondering whether someone is into you, they’re not and you should save yourself from waiting hours and days for your damn phone screen to light up. It’s really not that difficult to show someone how much you want them.
You’re worth someone who wants you to know how much they crave you.