1. Being overjoyed to meet someone who is so neat!
2. Instantly comparing her or him to all your previous exes and crushes.
3. Irrationally spending more time looking at/stalking her or him than you do actually communicating bc nerves.
4. Increased presence of grey hair due to worry that anytime you schedule a date s/he will cancel.
5. Feelings of unbridled glee and hyperactivity when you invite them to something and they actually say “yes” and don’t come up with last minute excuses!
6. Bouts of delusion as you start imagining a relationship.
7. Driving yourself crazy because you are super into her or him.
8. Hallucinations as you stare at her or him and start imagining what they (are) like in bed hehehehehe.
9. Inability to be close to said crush without feeling like now is the right time to pounce.
10. Driving yourself crazy because you aren’t sure if they like you back.
11. Increased flakiness due to dropping everything you’re doing — including plans you had with other friends — if s/he texts you to hang out.
12. Deep feelings of jealousy when they talk about other people, exes.
13. Panic attacks brought on by the increasing fear of the two of you entering a “friend zone.”
14. Perpetual nausea oh god oh god oh god.
15. Obsessive text messages sent to friends about what you should do. Do you tell her or him that you are into them? Do you wait on them make a move? HELP.
16. Increased analytical skills as you become an expert at deciphering every innuendo, touch, and text message. S/HE TOLD ME I WAS HOT SO CLEARLY THEY LIKE ME, RIGHT?
17. Insomnia as you wait for a response to a text message.
18. Feelings of increased confidence if they text you back quickly.
19. More insomnia due to wondering, “Well s/he clearly has to know, right? I mean I’ve been super obvious about it?”
20. Look at the way s/he looks at me. OH HE SO WANTS ME.
21. OH GOD HE HATES ME.
22. GOD SOMEONE PLEASE END THIS EVERYTHING’S THE WORST.
23. Convulsions due to playing scenarios over and over in your head about what would happen if you tell them you’re into them, having at least 3 scenarios and answers to them.
24. Hair loss due to high levels anxiety.
25. Increasing doubts about your abilities as a sane human.
26. Heightened blood pressure once you finally decide to let your crush know how you feel.
27. Heart palpitations.
28. OH MY GOD S/HE IS INTO ME JACKPOT!!!
29. OH MY GOD S/HE IS NOT INTO ME I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT R/N :(
30. Binge drinking/eating.
31. Feelings of peace that at least now you know.
32. An epiphany that actually, liking someone should never be this damn difficult.