20 Things You Learn From Dating White Guys

0. He is the one person you don’t give the side-eye when he asks to touch your ethnic hair.

1. There are some people out there who are NOT going to be happy about it, especially if you’re not a white person yourself. They will make themselves known to you.

2. People talk about dating white guys/getting in interracial relationships like it’s some kind of exotic delicacy. “My first time dating a white guy…”

3. White guys think they are definitely much smarter than all other people.

4. You are going to be a surprise to their parents/family. At some point in your courting, he is going to have to decide when to tell his folks that you are not a white.

5. If you’re a gay dude of color, people are going assume which role you play in the bedroom.

6. People are going to start to think that you only date white guys, that you don’t even enjoy dudes from your own race.

7. In addition, somebody is going to scream something at you like “WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR OWN RACE!!!” You are racist against your own people, they will tell you.

8. Guys/girls in your race are going to be mad at you.

9. You are probably going to make fun of him for being white, for saying white things. Ah, cracking racist jokes at one another — now that’s a real relationship!

10. You will discover that lots of white guys have big Ds, despite popular lore.

11. Your friends are going to ask you “What it’s like” dating a white guy, as if somehow it is really all that different?

12. Because you’re not the same race, you always find yourself attracted to them. It’s the difference between your features that creates that magical spark.

13. All of your friends start to tell you that you are going to have BEAUTIFUL babies, because mixed race babies are better than ALL other babies.

14. Your white boyfriend might not have any friends of your race, so be prepared to be the only one of you in the bunch!

15. When you go to a restaurant, people are going to assume that your white guy is the one paying the check. Waiters hand him the check, without fail.

16. Even if they welcome your white boyfriend with open arms, your family is going to make fun of you for dating outside of your race and make jokes about him when he’s not around.

17. People are forever going to refer to your races not as tones or hues but as flavors: chocolate, caramel, vanilla. “Sometimes I like a little bit of vanilla,” etc, etc, etc.

18. You will roll your eyes every time a movie comes out about how some interracial couple is trying to make their relationship survive in this day and age.

19. Your first sight of a white D will be shocking. But try not to lose focus!