How To Be Great In Bed

1. Chemistry, Chemistry, Chemistry!

Aren’t we all guilty of sleeping with at least one person in our lives where the sex was just kind of meh? Everything went in the way it was supposed to and all of that but you were just kind of bored the whole time? You can fake an orgasm, sure, but you can’t really fake chemistry, can you? The difference between having sex with somebody because sex is a thing to do, yay, and having sex with somebody you have powerful chemistry with is what makes the deed so awesome. It could be that you really love the person, or maybe you are both ridiculously attracted to one another. Chemistry is key.

2. Compliment Them!

Everybody likes to feel good about their bodies. And what better time to dole out some awesome compliments than right during the act! I mean you don’t have to like have a conversation about how great they look, but it’s hot sometimes to tell them they are doing a good job or that they are really sexy or whatever else you feel like saying.

3. Be Enthusiastic

Sooo this doesn’t mean going apeshit and like beating your chest/screaming at the top of your lungs like you’re in some porno. But it does mean that you should be excited to be there! You should be glad to be sharing your body and to have another body all to yourself to do stuff to. Enthusiasm is passion, and passionless sex is basically like eating a TV dinner while you watch mindless television. There’s no feeling. Is there anything worse than having sex with someone who is just fucking laying there like a dead fish? No there is not. Can you like wiggle your toes or maybe arch your back once or twice during the production? Jesus.

4. Kissing Is Key

I know some people are really delicate about the whole kissing thing. If you’re having a hook up, some people feel like kissing is too intimate for a random sex encounter. Oh ok. So like opening yourself up/inserting your materials into a stranger is much more formal? I don’t really get it? Well I sort of get it. Kissing is weird if you’re maybe not all the way attracted to the other person. But if you’re not all the way attracted to them, why are you fucking them in the first place tho? Anyway, you have to kiss during sex because it adds to the enthusiasm! Otherwise you’re just masturbating with someone else in the room.

5. Sex Is Not A Race, But It’s Not A Marathon Either

Look, sex is amazing but sometimes CAN YOU JUST COME ALREADY PLEASE? I know some people like to edge and come down and edge again, and that’s great, but sometimes it is just time to finish. It shouldn’t be too short, but you don’t want it to last forever. Or maybe you do sometimes! But striking a balance is key.

6. Try It In Unconventional Places

It doesn’t always have to be in your bedroom. Or even in your house! Spice things up by trying…other places!


Sometimes the mind wanders when you’re having sex with someone, especially if you’re in a nice, safe relationship and you’re not worrying about what you are going to say to kick this stranger out of your bed when you finish. Maybe you’re thinking about what you’re doing later or what’s for dinner or you remembered something you forgot to do. All of those random thoughts take you away from the fact that you are getting LAID, which is where your focus ought to be. It’s obvious when you are not totally in the moment of the D or the V. So, BE PRESENT.

8. Be Insatiable

Someone who is really good in bed will find all your spots and zero in on them and drive you totally wild. This is the point where you start moaning loudly or squirming and trying to move away and their body language is just like, “No. You sit there and you take it.” YESSSSSSS. Because sex isn’t just about the old in and out — it’s about exploring all of your bodily crevices.

9. Be Silly

Sex is funny. Sex is gross. Sex is awkward. Sex is embarrassing. Somebody is going to squirt something in the wrong place or fart or sneeze and have a whole lot of snot come out. Don’t take it so seriously! Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Shutterstock

Author of How To Be A Pop Star.

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