21 Things Girls Like To See When They Visit A Guy’s Place For The First Time

"Before I came over... a knowledgeable older friend of his had come by and told him, 'Remember to vacuum the paneling too. Chicks really dig that.'" Is it true, ladies????

By Madison Moore

Updated 11 years ago, June 11, 2013

Scenario: you get invited over to some dude’s house for the first time. You know what that means: snooping around, obviously, and judging this guy’s character and all of his life choices based on the things he has or doesn’t have in his place. Don’t act like you’ve never done this before! We wanted to find out what kinds of things girls like to see when they go to a guy’s place for the first time, so we headed over to r/askreddit. The consensus is basically that guys don’t wash dishes, smell awful and jerk off a lot — something girls do NOT want evidence of when they raid your crib fellas!!! Read on — the results might surprise you. What are some things you like to see when you go to someone’s house for the first time? Tell us in the comments.

1. sailorgala

The first time I visited my future husband’s house, I was totally impressed by the lack of man-funk. I mean, it smelled as if he washed his sheets and cleaned. Most homes of males I had visited up until then had smelled and looked like college dorms, even if they were otherwise tidy people. The fact that his house looked and smelled like it was run by a responsible adult scored HUGE points with me.

2. Amy_Ugly_Gorilla

I like it when his apartment doesn’t smell like old semen.

3. blessedwhitney

Soap dispensers that have soap in them. Please.

4. WeenisWrinkle

It doesn’t help to have a bottle of Jergens and a box of tissues on your computer desk.

5. Bampari

I remember in my early twenties I visited a guy’s dorm room and expressed my awe that it was impeccably clean and tidy right down to there not being any dust on the wall paneling by the floor. Some time later he informed me that before I came over and while he was vacuuming, a knowledgeable older friend of his had come by and told him, “Remember to vacuum the paneling too. Chicks really dig that.” Guy knew what he was talking about…

6. over1imit

Something unique that reveals something about their personality: artwork on the wall, books, a modest set-up for their computer/TV/etc, a musical instrument, and so forth.

7. mrbooze

Please say whiskey bottles and loose video-game boxes…

8. dustythreads

The absence of his mother.

You should like Thought Catalog on Facebook here.

For me they get extra points for (legal) herbs…a basil plant in the kitchen is a sign that he’s a keeper.

10. rainy_dazed

Produce. Any sign that you like to eat more than just frozen pizzas and instant noodles. Vegetables are an important part of a relationship.

11.rythmik1

Before we were engaged, my wife said she knew she wanted to marry me when walked past my opened closet and saw a bunch of board games. scrabble ftw fellas.

12. rageina

The first thing I do is look at their bookshelf and CD collection if they have one. You can tell a lot about a person by their taste in music and literature.

13.canard427

Best decorating advice I ever got: If you graduate from school, graduate to frames (and probably a good idea to get rid of most of the college posters as well).

14. HueyLewisAndTheShame

I have gone home with several men who live in unhygienic squalor, and I have to say, it makes me unlikely to ever fuck them again. I get that you’re a 20-something bachelor, but jesus, I was scared to touch things. I always judge what books you have on your shelves and particularly on your nightstand. I will totally check out what consoles you have, and if you leave your computer on I’ll probably glance at it to see if you’ve got Steam. I appreciate it when you have something up on the walls, even if it’s a cheap 10 dollar thing from Ikea. The state of your fridge is a big one, too. When you go to offer me beer, there should NOT be visible mold in your fridge. If your bed is unmade, that’s fine, I don’t always make mine, either, but if you expect me to lay down in it, the sheets better smell reasonably clean. AND GODDAMN SOAP IN THE BATHROOM. Twice, I have been in bathrooms with NO SOAP ANYWHERE ON THE COUNTER. I get that sometimes people are lazy and don’t wash their hands, but at least have enough shame to give the appearance of regularly washing your hands.

15.donnamarie13

Any musical instrument.

16. darthtayrah

Bit of a backwards one here. First time I went to my boyfriend’s place, I walked into his bedroom and was confronted by a massive poster (probably a metre tall) of himself above his bed. So, uh, not that.

17. InfiniteChicken

Jesus Christ you people are insane! Who invites someone over when it smells of semen/is filthy/covered in food residue? How do you even live like that? I am old! Your lifestyle choices frighten and confuse me! Enjoy your Pokemon and Hula Hoops and shower curtains covered in beer/sperm or whatever! Christ almighty.

18. HelloNY