It’s funny how you can meet someone and know right away whether you’re going to hit it off or not — either as a friend or as a lover. I don’t date anymore, but when I used to I remember going on a single date with this guy and everything about him was annoying. Literally everything. The way his hair was combed, the way he laughed. Annoying hair can be shaved, I suppose, but I mean if you can’t stand somebody’s laugh, it’s over. As we go through life searching for meaningful connections with the people we meet in cafes, studying abroad, at the office, or in yoga class, there are a couple qualities they should have that will definitely make you want to be their friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend.
A Sense Of Humor
A sense of humor and playfulness is key, one of the most important qualities in building new relationships. All relationships have their ups and downs, but it should mostly be a whole lot of ups and laughing so hard your side hurts and you’re choking on your Appletini. My best friend and I talk on the phone almost every day and a good deal of that time is spent laughing and making inappropriate jokes. Laughter is the spice of life, and if you want your relationship to last the distance you gotta keep it funny. You want to be friends with somebody you can drink Chardonnay and eat French Fries with while she shows you her boyfriend’s dick pic at a bar in Soho. THAT’S a good friend.
A Sense Of Adventure
We all have our habits and routines and things we like to do. And it’s right around then when relationships start to feel boring. But you don’t have to be bored. Sometimes it’s nice to step out of your comfort zone, be totally spontaneous and try something new and different for once. Challenge yourself! One of my friends is a bike boi and loves his motorcycle, whereas I am definitely NOT a motorcycle kind of person. At.All. But last week we drove around the block on it because that’s all I could take without having some kind of panic attack, but it was fun! Trying new things helps you learn and grow and hey, you might even find a new passion!
The Ability To Listen
Nobody wants to be friends or have a relationship with someone who just talks about themselves all the time. In a lot of ways, friendships do involve a good deal of therapy and helping you put yourself back together when you are sad that the new guy you have a crush on hasn’t texted you back in four days. Who do you think is going to be there to hear you talk about this for hours and hours? They don’t mind because they care about you, but you need to be able to return the favor. Don’t be a drama queen.
Have you ever noticed that thing where hot people are like friends with other hot people? There might sneak in a few uglies sometimes — for the quota or whatever — but usually it’s just a group of people who are all being hot at us in unison. Makes you want to punch them in the face. Attractive people do have it easier, and we often want to suck in their hotness, but do not be fooled. Sometimes the most beautiful people, who you just can’t believe are interested in you and texting you torso pics and telling you they miss you and asking you to come over to watch your favorite show while you nurse a bottle of wine (or more) — sometimes that person will actually be the worst person you’ve ever met.
Soooo it’s hard being smart because, in general, ppl are not smart. Looks aren’t everything, although being fabulous is. Above all that, though, you need to be able to have a conversation about things that matter to you. Whatever that is. You don’t want somebody who is all LOOK AT HOW SMART I AM or who is judgmental and makes you feel bad or less smart, but it’s always nice to have a friend or be in a relationship with someone who has advanced cognitive faculties.
Individuality is important, and these are often the funnest people. They wear what they want to wear, say what they want to say — they’re totally unfiltered by the pressures of normalcy. Who wants to fit in when you can be an individual?
We all tell white lies every day, so honesty is sort of relative. But in general, you want to be in a friendship or relationship with somebody who’s got your back. Forget the lies. You know you can call on them to borrow something or to ask an embarrassing question or to come over to examine a growth on your genitals that you are kind of freaking out about but are too afraid to go to the doctor for just yet. When something bad happens to you, they are the first person you think to call. They got you, bro.