Sometimes Their Cheating Has Nothing To Do With You

Priscilla Du Preez

Like most people who have had the unfortunate experience of being in a relationship circa 2017, I have been cheated on numerous times. I mean who hasn’t? As a member of a community full of serial daters and commitmentphobes it’s par for the course. At some point you are just going to have to realize that being cheated on is part of the game. In your quest for the Holy Grail, a.k.a Love, you are going to run into insecure, selfish little boys and girls who suffer from inferiority complexes and feel the need to bed hop in order to prove their power and their worth as human beings. Don’t take it personal, it’s just business as usual.

Initially you will be destroyed by someone’s infidelity. The betrayal will be soul shattering. You will experience periods of disillusionment, anger, sadness, despair, hopelessness, numbness and hurt. You will cry, shout, scream, break things, plot and scheme on ways to get even. You will be afraid to love again and you will present as guarded, suspicious and extremely cautious with every subsequent person you meet. You will walk as if something is going to break because truth is something will break, your heart and when you have had your heart broken once before, you won’t be so apt to experience that pain ever again. So you will look at every potential partner like a threat, an enemy, a plague that needs to be treated, eradicated and punished.

Ultimately your fear of love will keep you from finding the very thing that you have been searching for all along-LOVE.

You will hide and run from anything that resembles love as it has killed before. Your hurt reasoning’s will tell you that it will kill again.

Infidelity is a killer. It kills feelings and beliefs. It kills your faith in love and by extension your faith in God because God is love. Those who have cheated on you have unwittingly tried to turn you into an emotional atheist. They have tried to literally murder your soul and spirit because the betrayal of infidelity is pervasive and bleeds throughout your entire belief system. It triggers old unaddressed wounds of abandonment and inspires the onset of fear to consume your life. It is a juggernaut that wrecks your entire world and makes it hard to trust others. It depletes your faith in humanity and creates a divide between what you need to thrive and what brings you back to life.

The truth about infidelity is that it rarely has anything to do with you. It has more to do with another person’s unresolved issues, hurts, wounds, fears and past experiences. It speaks more to them not being at a place in their lives where they feel secure and good about themselves.

They are not where they feel they should be and so they keep moving themselves around in other people’s beds in order to secure the validation they need in order to feel whole, complete and secure. But what they don’t realize is that true personal satisfaction and validation is not found at the end of a cum shot. Transforming your life into a sustainable entity is not achieved by restructuring someone else’s booty walls.

Another truth about infidelity is that the person who cheated on you really cheated themselves out of the genuine love and support that you could offer. These people never fully trusted you and never fully had faith in your love and chances are they never will because they do not fully love and trust themselves. So they keep themselves at arm’s length from the very ones who would have given them the world. They continue to cheat themselves by distancing themselves from you emotionally. They are not able to receive the infiniteness of your love because of their own personal beliefs about love. To them love is disempowering, it makes them feel weak, threatened and afraid. They see love as Kryptonite and not as a powerful amulet that grants them an increased measure of power and security.

This warped perception of love keeps them from receiving your love. Truth is as long as a person sees you and your love as a potential threat to who they are, they can never receive the vastness and fullness of your offerings.

They ultimately rob themselves of the vital nutrients they need to come full circle in their journey towards self-actualization. In their quest for fast food and junk food they forfeit wholefood and soul food, the very food they need to grow and reach spiritual maturation.

Infidelity is a thief that keeps on stealing universal joy. It perpetuates this ongoing cycle of pain and mistrust that now characterizes our world today. When people cheat, they add to the fountain of universal distrust that we all drink from. This wellspring of unwellness keeps the legacy of pain going. Funny thing is some people are very vocal about the various injustices of the world. They complain and gripe and advocate for the oppressed however what they fail to realize is that they contribute to this injustice when they cheat on someone. How can you be a stanch advocate for human rights and at the same time cheat on and destroy the very humans that you advocate for? Herein lies the truth about infidelity.

It is refractory contradiction to the goal of human progression. If you claim to be a proponent of human rights and you cat around town, then you are a hypocrite who loyalty and integrity is questionable. So to all those who can’t be faithful, stay single because ultimately you will face your own karma as you become the garbage your carelessly throw away!

A fun-loving creative soul who enjoys various forms of expression.

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