It’s time for you to move on.
I know you don’t want to read those words. I didn’t want to write them either because I’m in the same boat. But alas, it’s time for you to cast your sail and distance yourself from the man you keep trying to reach. Like everyone says, if it was meant to be, it would have happened. Sticking around for a round two or three or six is not going to change anything. You have fought the good fight. It’s time to tap out. And if you get anything from reading this piece, you should know that it’s not your fault. Anything more you do will not change his mind. Like the stages of grief, now comes the last stage: acceptance.
At first you were probably in denial that the relationship ended. You felt you could still talk to him like normal because even though things ended, it was on a good (or at least not terrible) note. But then you realized he did not actually want to talk to you anymore and so you tried to stop bothering him. Friendship would not be attainable with him, unfortunately.
This is when you got angry for breaking off the relationship, because you didn’t just lose a boyfriend, you lost a friend.
You internally blamed yourself. The anger only fueled your desire to speak to him, to make things right between the two of you. Seeing his face made you angry. Hearing about him from mutual friends sparked anger. Talking about him to friends led to anger, but you did so anyways because you couldn’t just keep it all boiling inside of you. Venting was the closest thing to satisfaction.
Then you tried to reach out to him again. You took ownership of all the blame like you had been doing already, but this time directly to him. You tried to bring up fond memories from your shared past. You put yourself down to lift him up. You said if you just had another chance with him you’d get it right. You’d never repeat the past. All he had to do was give you that second chance.
But he didn’t. And this made you sad. You felt rejected. Everything was still your fault, you thought. None his. You didn’t want to see anything of his on social media, but you couldn’t help yourself from looking. You didn’t want him to see what you were up to so you hid information from him on social media or just blocked him all together. He could not know you were sad when he seemed so emotionless. You tried to be strong even though you felt so low. You had relapses where you contacted him.
And with each time, you told yourself it would be the last, but then your sadness got the best of you and you attempted to speak with him again. Every conversation was a seed of hope intended to be watered by him. Now all you have are dozens of seeds in the dry dirt.
So now is the time for acceptance. You’ve been sad far too long. You’ve pined after him enough. This does neither you nor him any good. He doesn’t want you in his life but you keep popping up. Just let the man be. And let yourself breathe. You’ve been beating up your heart over someone who does not want any of your love or friendship.
Perhaps the attention you show him gives him slight pleasure, but you’d never know unless you stopped offering it. It will be difficult but you know you can do it. Hell, I’m still trying to do it. It starts with accepting yourself. Accept the woman you are without him. Accept that things will never work out with this one. Accept that your love is made for someone else. Someone you haven’t met yet, and someone you won’t have the chance of meeting if you stay hung up on this guy.
You have a lot of love to give, a lot of years to live, and he’s a fool for not seeing the beautiful woman right in front of him. Don’t be a fool yourself.