There are those who believe in one soul mate, and there are others who believe in multiple. I fall into the latter category, for I consider there to be multiple people out there that you can spend a full lifetime of happiness with, and it most simply comes down to two main factors: timing and location.

I believe all of this because I once had a conversation with my dad about it. We were sitting in our basement, him on the couch and me on the floor, as he looked at old college calendars with dates of past loves scrolled in the spaces. Sure he loves my mom and they’ve made a beautiful life together, but had the timing and location been off, he most likely would have ended up with someone else (maybe from the calendar) and I wouldn’t be here right now. Go ask your parents about this and see if it’s a similar scenario, I dare you.

I found one of my soul mates. Timing and location were perfect for two months. That is, until he moved across the country after graduating college and both variables became bitches. Want to know what else became a bitch? Him. For believing too much in fate and not having the balls to intervene.

That being said, I am going to refine my previous sentiment. I believe in multiple soul mates, yes, but the reason people only have one actual soul mate is because so many people out there easily give up. People don’t like difficult. They like easy and convenient. When things get complicated those soul mates that cannot go the distance peace out. Sure, had timing and location been different, maybe you would have stuck together, married, had a beautiful family and been content. But the variables were not in your favor. And so you say hello to the end and goodbye to that scenario of unknowns with them, only to find even more unknowns in your path.

There must be some secret formula out there, like where if you’ve been together with someone for X amount of time and the distance is only X miles away, then you stay together. But if the calculated sum is not greater than the product, it’s not worth it. I’d like to find out this formula. I think my version of it may be slightly different, because although I believe in “whatever will be, will be,” I also believe it will be that way because you have a say in your own life.

I also think there’s some switch in the human brain that says, “Ok, I’m ready to get married now. I’m at that age. It’s time.” And whomever that person is with becomes the lucky half of a newly engaged couple.

I probably sound very cynical. I don’t mean to be, but I can’t quite grasp why we end up with the people we do besides timing and location. Those variables have such a huge impact. If I live in New York I’ll end up with someone different than if I lived in Colorado or Idaho or across the world in Turkey or Japan.

My one soul mate was defeated from the start. I still talk to him because we’re friends. You’d have to be friends with someone to even consider them a soul mate. But he wasn’t my actual, life-long soul mate. He was the first of (hopefully) many.

Perhaps someday, in the next ten or so years, my brain will activate the magical switch. I’ll become the newest product of timing and location. And, I won’t blink an eye, happy to have found my actual soul mate, leaving the possibility of anyone else behind. Please forgive me, other soul mates. It’s not me. It’s not you. It’s the variables.