Like many millennials, I have been guilty of having romantic relationships where the primary mode of communication was words on a screen. I had one particular relationship which was almost exclusively online-namely Facebook, with the occasional text only when prompted. Online relationships are a lot like fad diets or plastic surgery: a good idea in theory but heartbreaking in reality.
I unofficially dated this guy that lived eight hours away and I saw him once in the span of about five years for a few hours. Despite talking a mighty game, he did absolutely nothing on the level of gesture to indicate that he ever had any real investment in being with me. When a situation like this arises, sometimes there is nothing left to do but make that person get the f*ck out of your life.
I am convinced that part of the reason our generation has difficulty finding “the one” is because of the sheer dearth of possible ways to meet people. A guy (or girl) can internet-flirt with multiple women simultaneously without them ever finding out. I should know. This exact thing happened to me. The moment when you realize that the same cheesy, poetic pickup lines he has said to you have probably been said to dozens of girls it like being submerged in a tidal wave with no hope of returning safely to shore.
In romantic comedies, the lines between “good guy” and “bad guy,” “gentleman” and “lothario” are as clear as the Mexico-Texas border. But in real life, the lines are frequently blurred. Here are some compelling reasons to kick your ex out of your life by giving them the silent treatment.
1. It puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life.
That prick may have broken your heart, but this way you don’t have to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. If you ignore his efforts to reach out to you, he has no way of necessarily knowing what you’re thinking.
2. It gives you the space to reprogram your brain around the idea of being a couple.
There’s a lot of scientific evidence that when you are in a long term relationship, your brain develops a neurological groove around the person. The only way to heal the metaphorical wound is to stop picking at the scab.
3. You save yourself the dignity of “trying to be friends.”
Need I say more? We all know that nine times out of ten this ends in heartbreak and midnight Ben and Jerry’s runs.
4. If you do ever want him back, you have a better chance of accomplishing this is you give him some space to miss you.
This is proven by pop culture…and my mom’s dating advice. And in my personal experience, when I didn’t chase a guy who broke up with me, he is more likely to come back than when I send him a million texts or emails.
5. It might make you seem like a harsh bitch; but that’s okay.
It’s much better than a desperate doormat, honey! While your ex may or may not call you and one day beg for your back, he won’t respect you if you try to beg for him back. Trust me. I’ve tried it and it never works.
6. First thought, best thought.
Regardless of what a “good guy” everyone tells you he may be, if you think you’ve been emotionally abused, trust your gut. You probably have.
7. It’s a lesson you need to learn anyway.
Cutting ties with someone who was a close friend is so much harder than breaking up with someone who was simply a fling. But I think that part of growing up is realizing that some people are only meant to be in our lives for a fixed amount of time, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. While ghosting someone might seem a bit harsh, sometimes no closure really is the best way for closure.