12 Girls Tell Their Hilarious Stories Of Flirting (Hard) With Guys Who Just Couldn’t Catch The Hint
"Told him that I liked him. He went 'I like you too bud.' And punched me in the shoulder. Then walked off."
By Lisa Woods
1. He Was floored When He Finally Got It
“I was in uni, and there was a group of us that regularly met up for drinks after classes. Anyway one of them was this cute guy who after getting to know him a bit I got a little crush for. So I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink sometime. He said yes, we discussed where/when etc. When I turned up the rest of the group was there. I flirted my ass off for about a month, nothing, so figured he wasn’t interested and gave up. About 4 months later we were all sat having a drink when it came up in conversation. He gave me this wide eyed look and said said he hadn’t realised. Apparently he was gutted because he’d figured he’d been friend zoned and I was ‘too hot’ for him.”
2. “I Like You Too, Bud”
“Told him that I liked him. He went ‘I like you too bud.’ And punched me in the shoulder. Then walked off. It was the last time I saw him. We worked together and it was his last day. I figured if he didn’t feel the same way I wouldn’t have to see him again. I thought it was his way of being nice.
Fast forward to about 6 months later I get a text from him ‘did you mean you had romantic feelings for me?’ By this time he was living in another state.”
3. Fourth Time’s The Charm
“The best part this wasn’t the first, second, or third time he missed an obvious hint. It was his fourth. I don’t know all the details of the 3 before mine.
I know the first one was the girl leaned in for a kiss at a party. He thought she was falling over due to being drunk. Thinking back he said she had told him she doesn’t drink alcohol.
The second one grabbed his crotch while he was in the passenger seat of her car. He thought she misjudged reaching for the gear shift. The car was an automatic and moving. There was no obvious reason for her to change the gear.
The third one wasn’t as obvious. She was always really happy to see him. Always invited him over. Would cuddle him. He put two and two together about a year after they stopped hanging out. She was never that way with other guy friends.
Luckily he caught one of his current girlfriend’s hints. She told him he was really cute. He said ‘thanks my mom thinks so too.’ He started walking away when something clicked. He turn around and said ‘if you think my face is cute you should see my butt sometime. You wanna discuss a time after work?'”
4. He Fell Asleep
“Last year, I met up with this guy over the summer. I knew this guy was into me – he’d basically flat out told me over text, and it was confirmed by his best friend. We went out for ice cream, and then went back to his house to chill and play with his bird. As we’re sitting in his house, we start play-fighting over this stuffed animal, and end up sweaty in his bed, basically cuddling. So we’re lying there on his bed, and I go, ‘in a movie this is where we’d make out!’ and he goes ‘mhm!!’ and then falls asleep.”
5. Finally Had to Just Ask
“My current boyfriend and I flirted back and forth for a year in college, but kept just swearing we just wanted to be friends. One night I slept over at his house, and I made so many advancements that went right over his head. I told him I had a sex dream about him, and that it was really good. Then, when we went to bed, I came into his room to sleep in his bed. I was doing all of the typical ‘hey I want to have sex with you’ moves, like pushing my ass up against his dick, and everything! It came down to me literally having to tell him, ‘Hey, do you want to have sex with me right now?’ And the surprised look is still so funny!
6. Wanted To Smack Him Upside His Head
“Met a guy in high school, friend of a friend situation. We hit it off really well. I invited him to things, like movies. I cuddled up with him in his bed. I’d sit on his lap in group settings. Finally I felt I was making a fool of myself and stopped. We were great friends all the rest of high school but I never did those things like cuddle and stuff again.
After my wedding he admitted he was in love with me for years. I wanted to smack him upside the head. I was genuinely angry.”
7. All That Flirting And He’s Still Not Sure
“I went to his house to watch some TV show we both liked. While he was getting everything set up I’m standing behind him hugging him, tickling him, and flirting my ASS off. He finally got everything working and was sitting in a chair. I’m on the bed. ‘Get on the bed with me.’ ‘Okay.’ So I’ve got my head on his chest and rubbing his thigh. I look up at him. Totally dtf. He finally asks ‘Can I kiss you?’ ‘What the fuck do you think I’ve been trying to do ALL DAY?’ Finally…this guy, lol.
We’re engaged and have had a kid together since then.”
8. Even R-rated Titty Shots Didn’t Clue Him In
“Prior to meeting my current boyfriend a guy I had previously gone out with/slept with got in touch after like, 2 years. We had some flirty catch-up and I invited him to come over to my apartment before I moved. I mean, I sent this guy some R rated titty snaps. We talked about both being single, reminisced about good times. He never really made plans, then I moved.
We kind of lost touch until a couple of months or so later when I told him I was surprised to hear from him because I invited him over for a booty call and he wasn’t into it. His response was that he thought I was just being nice and was really beating himself up over not realizing that I was dtf.”
9. He Thought She Was Being Nice
“I have the worst luck about this. We were hanging out and I reached out to hold his hand and he looked me square in the eye and asked me if I had seen the latest episode of Game of Thrones as pulled his hand back . . . I thought he was rejecting me. The friends who had set us up texted me a bit later to ask how it went and I said ‘poorly’. I later apologized for being so forward and that I hope he’d still want to be friends despite the awkwardness and he asked me absolutely astounded,’. . . Is that what that was?’
‘Why else did you think I was holding your hand?’
‘I thought you were being nice.’
Another time, I was on a guy’s bed and he ignored me to play a game on Facebook. He also had no idea what was going on. Or there was the time a guy said he’d love to take me to dinner and I said that sounded like fun and he blushed and walked away and did not come back. Everyone in all of these stories was over 20.
Why does this keep happening to me?”
10. A Marriage That Almost Wasn’t
“My husband almost didn’t ask me for my number when we first meet even after I talked to him all night, and not so subtly touched his leg a lot (I was very drunk). He later said that he wasn’t sure if I was interested.”
11. Said She Needed A Cuddle Buddy, He Didn’t get it
“First year of university, I got close to my friend when we were both cast for a musical. At parties we’d ‘cuddle’ up together (more like non-platonically leaning/sitting on each other) and even made jokes that we would inevitably be together. I remember testing the waters by sending him a Snapchat that said something along the lines of ‘I need a cuddle buddy’ to which he replied with ‘get a teddy bear’ and I decided to let it go. We kept hanging out, though I didn’t make another move until one party where some of our friends (who apparently had been trying to convince him that I WAS attracted to him) dared us to make out (ooh, so bad ass).
That was that until after the party we went back to campus (we both lived on res) and he invited me over to his dorm to make bacon. Straightup bacon. At 3 in the morning. Anyways we were both still a little tipsy and started making out again, pretty hardcore this time. I eventually told him to ‘walk me back to my dorm room 😏’ and the dope replied with ‘but… It’s cold outside. ‘After a little more of that I was like ‘omg do you want to get laid or not?’ ‘seriously?? I didn’t think you liked me back.’ Even during the dirty deed he asked me again ‘so you actually like me right?'”
12. Oblivious But Still Boyfriended Him
“My current boyfriend is the most oblivious. Before we were together I would hardcore flirt all the time. Saying things that he did are what I look for in a boyfriend, made dirty jokes pointed at him all the time, lots of touching and things commonly seen as flirtatious. Never had a clue. Even mentioned my single-ness constantly. He still misses hints about things. When hinting that I wanted to live together i asked him how he wanted to live after he moved out of his parents and he still didn’t get it. Even asking him if he liked the town my college is in and if he ever considered living somewhere other than our hometown didn’t work.”