Have you ever had your heart broken? Odds are, the answer is yes, and sadly I can relate. Heartbreak can happen for a number of reasons but one of the most common experiences is being left because you are not “good enough” or because there is someone better out there. I have been criticized by many men throughout my life in the context of interpersonal relationships, and I have been left because there was a “better” girl than me in the picture. I have been rejected, dumped, abandoned, insulted, ignored, and tossed aside. Unfortunately, this is not a unique occurrence amongst people today and there are way too many amazing women (and men) out there who have been broken by another person.
I have felt this pain and I have overcome it, and I’m sure I will have to overcome it again in the future. I am here to tell you that anyone who breaks you, whether on purpose or by accident, is not someone that you need to think of often. People who treat you as if it’s not a big deal to break you and who do it with indifference are NOT your people. They are not people whose voices should enter your mind constantly, and they are not people who should ruin you for the truly good people out there who want to love you as you deserve to be loved, and who won’t treat you like a chore.
I am guilty of letting another person’s opinions of me dictate my self-image, which is AWFUL. But I believe everyone cares about others’ opinions to some extent. It is a constant battle every day to stay in love with yourself because of shitty things that other people have said to you. But it is a battle worth fighting EVERY SINGLE DAY. The best way, in my opinion, to wage this war is to surround yourself with people who make you feel strong, who tell you that you are amazing, and who constantly remind you how extraordinary you are. If someone tells you that you are amazing every chance they get, THAT is a person worth having in your life. And these are the people who, along with yourself, will help you repair the damage that others have inflicted upon you.
Do yourself a favor:
If someone breaks you, do not stay broken. Do not give anyone the satisfaction of having that kind of power over your happiness. You are capable of being whole, strong, and a force to be reckoned with.
I once read that in Japan broken objects are often repaired with gold. The flaws, the breaks, are seen as a unique piece of the object’s history and add to its beauty. The damage is not hidden from the outside world, and while it makes the object look a bit different it is still beautiful. It is beautiful in a different way than before it was broken, but it is still put back together and strong once again. Protect your heart, keep it together at all costs, but if it does get shattered you can put yourself back together with gold: an element that is strong, shiny, valuable, and stunning, just like you.