You will get over him eventually.
When your relationship ended, you questioned everything. You picked apart old conversations. You mulled over your past decisions. You wondered if there was anything that you could have done differently. You blamed yourself for not being good enough.
The truth is that there is nothing you could have done to save your former relationship.
Sometimes, people grow apart and there is nothing you can do to bridge the distance. Sometimes, obstacles become unconquerable and love doesn’t triumph all. Sometimes, even if both people put in all their effort to stay together, they will still be inevitably torn apart.
It sounds vastly unfair but on the other hand, it can be liberating and empowering in letting go of an old relationship that is no longer serving you. By knowing that you have done all you can, there is no regret and unresolved closure. You know instinctively that this is better in the long run as both of you had tried many times and failed. Love isn’t supposed to be this hard and it has been affecting you for the longest time. By choosing to focus on yourself, you’re finally allowing yourself to chase after your own happiness. By walking away from a love that has run its course, you’re getting closer to meeting the right person that is meant for you.
When your relationship ended, the first step is to accept what happened. Acknowledge that there were good and bad times, but now the bad has outweighed the good. Think back to the countless times you tried to make it work only to have your effort backfired. Remember that when one party wants to end the relationship, there is no point in trying to change their mind. Remind yourself while it hurt so much now, you’re doing the right thing by choosing yourself. Mourn over the relationship and slowly allow yourself to move on.
When your relationship ended, trust that the next one will be better. Just because it did not work out with him doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to find the love of your life. You’re not difficult to love, you have not met the right one yet. It may be hard to believe now but one day, you will fall in love again and they will love you for the amazing person you are. They will treat you the way you deserve without you having to ask for it. The relationship will be just as how you envisioned and wished for.
When your relationship ended, you learn that you’re strong enough to get through this. Despite how broken-hearted you’re feeling now, better days are ahead of you. You’re young and your journey is only at the beginning. You learn that you’re fully capable of navigating life by yourself. You learn that it’s better to be single than to settle into a mediocre relationship. It’s better to be single than to be with someone for the wrong reasons. You know that you will be okay eventually.
So please don’t give up now. It’s okay to grieve and take your time to heal. It’s okay to be selfish and allow yourself to heal. It’s okay if you’re not over him now because you eventually will.