This Is Me Accepting There Is No More ‘Us’

This is me accepting that there is no more us.

As reluctant and heartbroken as I am, I have to acknowledge that this is the very end. Even at this instance, I would have continued to fight for us until my last breath. I would have gone against all logic and rationale and found a thousand reasons why we shouldn’t have to part. I would have stood, unfazed, and stared any challenge straight in the eye, refusing to cower in defeat. I would have gladly given up any material possession I had or sacrificed everything in my power to stay with you. I would have geared up for the biggest battle of my life, where failure wasn’t an option and you were the only prize I needed.

But alas, I cannot win against an immovable heart and a dying relationship that’s beyond saving. I would have done anything for you, but I could not and would not love you into loving me.

This is me accepting that we are better off apart and that I should not attempt to revive what we had.

Every fiber of my being yearns to text you and talk to you. My phone feels especially silent without your presence, and my heart clenches painfully at the void you left behind. Every atom of my body craves for your touch, and I long for you to hug me and tell me that you love me. Every inch of my soul is inflamed with the agony of having to live in a world where you and I no longer exist.

Our demise didn’t happen overnight. There was a crack in our seemingly flawless relationship and we started to drift apart. Little did I know that the small things were actually big things. That while I was deluded and still hopeful of a future with you, you were trying to break away from me. We were destructive together, and before we knew it, there was no way of return as our ending became inevitable.

This is me accepting that I have to go on living my best life without you.

I’m accepting that I will never again wake up to your morning text or fall asleep at night to your voice. I’m saying goodbye to all the adventures we embarked on to different continents, foreign lands, and unforgettable vacations. The dates that you put in your utmost effort to ensure that I had a wonderful time. The bittersweet memories of how we went through thick and thin together.

I won’t get to call you whenever something good or bad happens. I won’t expect you to bail me out when I face any trouble. We won’t get to celebrate our next anniversary, our birthdays together, or get married to each other.

This is me accepting that losing you is a chapter of my life, and it doesn’t have to define me. I need time to heal, but this will be the start of something new and exciting.

Losing you is so hard, but I truly believe this is for the best. There is a reason why we didn’t work out and slowly, I will learn to accept this. My best life is out there waiting for me, and once I get back on my feet, I will get there.

We may have ended, but my life is only just beginning.