We’re all learning here, moving through the growth that requires us to give ourselves permission to mess up and move forward. This is for my self-critics, the ones who analyze where they’ve been and use it as motivation for where they want to go and the ones who are just too hard on themselves. Here are eight things you deserve to forgive yourself for doing in the past.
1. Not knowing better.
Forgive yourself for not knowing better, for thinking you were ever stuck and unable to choose differently, for choosing things that weren’t meant for you, and for not knowing what you wanted—even if that hurt other people (including yourself) in the process.
2. Speaking words that weren’t your truth.
Forgive yourself for saying things that weren’t from the most honest and authentic parts of you. The words that came from places not healed yet. And the words that came from where you were back then, not the ones that reflect where you are now.
3. Letting your trauma dictate your personality.
Forgive yourself for behaving in all the ways that weren’t and aren’t really you. Forgive yourself for letting fear be the driver of your map.
Forgive yourself for settling for the things that you didn’t deserve while thinking you deserved it, for thinking that anything is more important than honoring yourself and demanding others do the same.
5. Not having better boundaries.
Forgive yourself for not having better boundaries. Forgive yourself for all the times you didn’t say no, all the times you did something you didn’t actually want to do, and for letting people take from you in ways you now know doesn’t feel good. Your boundaries are forever evolving, as are you.
6. Not doing more.
Forgive yourself for not doing more and start celebrating what you did do. You deserve to forgive yourself for the sake of moving forward and be the person you actually want to be. You are doing plenty and have always done enough—remember that.
7. Ignoring your inner voice.
Forgive yourself for all the times you dismissed what you knew inside of you all along. Forgive yourself for not taking yourself seriously, for not knowing how to be a friend to you yet.
8. Not letting yourself be happy in the moment.
Forgive yourself for all the moments that passed without fully feeling them because your fear and anxiety were in the way. The times you didn’t give yourself permission to feel happy and all the times you thought you didn’t deserve to. Forgive yourself for overthinking, for questioning, and for all the times you didn’t let yourself go all in. Forgive yourself for not letting yourself be happy and choose to stand in the opportunity of joy now. You deserve it.