This Is The Brutal Truth About Falling Out Of Love With Someone

woman standing in front of closed store
God & Man

The cold truth about falling out of love with someone is that you simply don’t. 

There is no fixed point, no blink of an eye, and no specific moment that happens that makes our body fall out of love with someone. There is nothing that happens that forces us to move forward, and there is no amount of time that suddenly makes our attachment evaporate into thin air.

We never fall out of love with anyone in our lifetime ever – not even our friends.

You see, what happens is, we become versions of ourselves that no longer want to or are able to love them. 

After we go through heartbreak or experience some type of loss, we don’t automatically desire someone any less; we just become someone who desires something else or something more.

We heal the parts of ourselves that once thought we needed them, and we become someone who masters how to live a life without them. We become people who can’t even fathom a life with them, because we have grown into people who doesn’t want one.

We do not stay the same person and simply choose to not love them anymore, we become a person who physically isn’t able to.

When in the process of our own evolution, it is likely that at some point we will crave more education, a new profession, a different environment, or different relationships. This does not mean we don’t admire parts of our life as is, it just means we are inevitably growing and when we inevitably grow, our appetite increases and starts to want different things.

The ending of a relationship is no different than this. When something ends, especially when we weren’t the one to decide for it to, we eventually will start to become a version of ourselves that wants something different for us. Eventually and inevitably, our body will transform into a space that desires more than just to merely survive. We can only withstand the journey of thriving for so long, until we become a person who needs to.

With that being said, we never actually “fall out of love” with someone, but rather become a person who simply isn’t in love with them.

We move, we grow, we learn, and we start to taste the kind of life we actually want, to the point where we stop craving the one we already had. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Leena Lomeli

Featured writer since 2014 | Mama | Lover of life, health & growth.

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