The Truth About Outgrowing A Relationship


I used to think that things only ended when they turned horribly ugly, that relationships are only over when someone is no longer being respectful or committed. For me, it had to become intolerably annihilative before someone even made the first move to leave.

It never occurred to me that people could genuinely just outgrow the other person.

Sometimes two people do not grow at the same rate; sometimes things simply do not attach the way they used to because the parts of them that used to connect are no longer the same size. Sometimes as people stay together, they start to realize what they need, and what they cannot live without.

Outgrowing a relationship is like trying to make everything familiar a stranger. It’s taking everything you know and subjecting yourself to everything you know nothing about.

It feels ridiculous to leave something that has nothing seriously wrong with it. It almost makes you wonder if you should stay just because it’s not killing you in ways you’ve seen before.

You should not apologize for feeling this way, it’s your souls way of subtly letting you know you are subsequently an evolving work of art.

Whether you decide to dedicate your time into putting forth effort to grow with someone hoping to intertwine, to stay with them because that’s all you can fathom, or you dare to experience beyond what is right in front of you- I don’t know what the right answer is.

But what I do know is that great things only happen when you are present for them. I know that the most beautiful moments of your life will be held in the seconds you are willing to be somewhere you’ve never been.

I know that life is contingent, subject to change. I know we are worthy of every moment that we chose to move forward in the face of contempt. I know there is more out there because I’ve experienced what it’s like to progress, I know what it’s like to heal- because I’ve lived in the abstraction of brokenness.

Movement is the train that gives you a tour of the sunlight you would never see if you didn’t show up for your departure. It takes the willingness to travel to reach our destination, and it takes knowing that amending our environment or ourselves is sometimes the only way to get us there.

Growth has no limits. There is no way to precisely plan the outcome of anything because our surroundings are always changing. We can never accurately assume how much something is going to sprout; all we can do it nourish it in the meantime. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Leena Lomeli

Featured writer since 2014 | Mama | Lover of life, health & growth.

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