Why We Fight So Hard For The People That Are Wrong For Us

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Xan Griffin

It seems contradictory, right? We have such wide and open heart. We want to love and love some more. We search and search, trying to find our forever person. And then we pick the person who is completely wrong for us. Maybe blindly. But in time, we realize it isn’t a good match. And yet, we don’t give up on it.

I don’t know why I do it. Am I naive or dumb or just desperate? Are we all just so hungry for love that we throw our values and our standards away?

Maybe we do it because we don’t know anything else. Maybe we do it because we know that at least, that person won’t leave. Even though the love isn’t authentic or real. Even though we know deep down, he or she isn’t the one.

I used to think love was easy. You know, like love was something both parties just felt naturally. But as it turns out, love is hard work. It’s never going to be a walk in the park or even a run in the park.

And maybe we don’t realize our own worth. Maybe we don’t see our own selves even after 20 something years of living. Maybe we think we deserve love that isn’t so great. Or maybe we think we deserve love that is a one way street.

It’s sad to think that people believe they aren’t lovable, so they find whatever person who wants them. It’s sad to think that people believe they will never find their forever person, so they latch onto whoever.

It’s sad to think that we as human beings don’t know our own damn value.

We need to stop holding onto the wrong people. We need to stop pressing ourselves against men and women who don’t give a shit about us. We need to stop chasing people who won’t chase back. We need to stop pretending it’s love, when it isn’t at all. We need to stop getting ourselves into relationships, just to be in a relationship.

We need to stop settling for anything that is less than love.

I know we aren’t dumb. We aren’t stupid. We aren’t gullible or naive to believe that it’s love.

So we need to quit jumping into things that aren’t ours to jump into. We need to start listening to our gut instinct. We need to start listening to what we feel and how we feel instead of what another person feels.

Stop loving people who are wrong for you. Stop attaching yourself to people who bring you down. Stop making friends with people just because they are cool or rich or successful.

Fake love isn’t real love. It’s just an imaginary fantasy. A hopeful friendship that could blossom into something more. But you know it’s wrong. I know it’s wrong. We all know it’s wrong.

So, why do we keep doing it, over and over again? When we know it isn’t right. TC mark

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather
Let go now

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