Here’s Each Lesson You’ll Learn About Love For Every Year Of Your Twenties

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Lukas Müller


At the age of twenty, you will realize that first love isn’t always going to last forever. As much as you want it to last and prosper, that love is starting to drown. Due to long distance, college, and all the other opportunities in the world, you’ll have your first hit of heartbreak when your high school sweetheart breaks up with you to ‘find himself’. Don’t worry. He wasn’t the one.


At the age of twenty-one, you will dive into your first ‘casual relationship’. Whatever that means. You will be still hurting and aching from your first love, but 21 is the age of experimenting! You won’t fall in love this year, but you’ll learn something very important. You’ll learn that you are not a piece of trash. You’ll learn that you aren’t a toy for people to play with. At this age, you’ll learn that you are valuable and to not waste time on fuck boys. (You’ll also learn how to get better at sex).


At 22, whether you are in a relationship or not, you are going to go through a lot of mistakes regarding your self worth. You will get into a relationship that is comfortable and nice. But it’s not passionate. Not even a little bit. This is the year you learn to not settle for just anybody. This is the year you will learn that sometimes, being alone is better than being in a relationship where you feel alone.


At 23, you will learn the art of independence. You will take a break from sex and from dating in general. This is the age where your self confidence is at an all time high and you don’t have time for anybody but yourself. 23, is the age where you learn how to love yourself — flaws and all.


At 24, you will struggle with what you want. You miss being in love, and you miss what love felt like, but you haven’t experienced in so long. You will try to act like you’re totally fine with casual or almost relationships, but in truth, you are dying inside. 24 is the year you’ll learn some big lessons on why you can’t do casual anymore. Try as hard as you might, you just aren’t the type to do a no strings attached relationship.


At 25, you will be in crisis mode. Everyone on Facebook is getting engaged or moving in with each other. And you’re alone. 25 is the year you’ll learn to not compare and contrast yourself with your peers. It will be hard to do, because everyone seems so happy, but there’s a lot more going on that meets the eye. 25 is the year you’ll learn how to live in the now, even if it isn’t what you want yet.


26 is the year you will learn how to fall again without being scared. It will be the year you jump into love without a ‘what if’ or a question entering your mind. You will live life lead by your heart this year, and even if you end up getting hurt, you will be grateful. 26 is the year you’ll learn that love is possible for you.


At 27, you will be more stable in your life financially and personally. With this comes a sense of freedom to enjoy life alone or with someone else. 27 is the year you learn how to be just as happy alone as you are with a significant other and you will learn more about what you need and want in a partner which is incredibly important.


28 will be the year you learn how to not lose yourself in love. Previously, you have fallen so hard, that you lost parts of your heart to people that left. You will learn that attachment does not equal love.


29 is the year you will be at peace whether you are single or in a relationship. You have learned so much about love along the way, but at age 29 you will learn the most important lesson of all. At the end of the day, the only person who can make you feel happy and fulfilled is yourself.

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather
Let go now

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