I’m Not Stuck Up, I Just Have Standards

girl smiling
Matthew Kane

People act like it’s a bad thing to have standards. Like it’s a terrible, terrible thing to god forbid have some form of self worth. But I’m never going to apologize for that. Not ever.

You can say I’m picky. You can say I’m stuck up, and that I think I’m too good for anyone. But that’s the furthest thing from the truth.

You see, I don’t understand when people tell me that I need to ‘open up my mind to other people’. Like, okay, you want me to open myself up to assholes? To people who don’t respect me? To someone who stares at my boobs instead of my face? Yeah, not going to happen.

I have self worth. And in our society today, we are told to throw it away for love. To throw ourselves at every guy or girl who glances in our direction. We are taught that love is worth losing ourselves over. We are taught that love, will fix everything in our lives.

But, I know that’s not reality. Love isn’t magic. It isn’t a fairytale. It isn’t pixie dust.

So sorry to disapoint you, but I’m keeping my standards high. And that doesn’t make me a bitch. That doesn’t make me snobby. That makes me brave and courageous. Because I’d rather be single for a long time, than get mistreated by people who don’t give a crap about me. I’d rather love myself, than to be half loved by some asshole who only wants to get in my pants.

I’d rather die alone than to die next to someone who never truly loved me. I’d rather be #foreveralone than to ever be with someone who doesn’t share the same core values as I do, and who doesn’t treat me with care and kindness.

So, before you start telling a friend that they are stuck up or picky, take a step back. Would you want your friend want to date someone just to date someone? Would you want your friend to fall in love with someone who was cheating on her or belittling her? Would you want your friend to marry someone who only wants her for one thing? And would you want that for yourself? I hope not.

Be brave. Choose to say no. Choose to not settle. Choose to love yourself harder. Choose to put yourself first. Choose to not fall for charming smiles and devilish actions. Choose to fall in love with your first, instead of someone who could your break heart.

Choose to have standards. Choose to have self worth. Choose to have confidence. Choose to only give your heart so someone who won’t let you go. And choose to love someone who loves you in a way that is rare, and big, and true.

You deserve something more than a one night stand. You deserve something more than a casual fling. You deserve more than an almost relationship. So, choose yourself. Choose you, and the person who is right for you, will show up before you know it. TC mark

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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