I Don’t Know Why I Ever Gave You The Time Of Day

girl in water
Seth Doyle

I really don’t know why I ever gave you my full attention. I don’t know why I ever longed for your texts. I don’t know why I went on that date. Why I cherished every word you ever said to me. Why I was so infatuated with you.

You didn’t care about me. You just said you were attracted to me. You liked my eyes. My lips. My face. The way I looked adoringly at you.

You liked the attention. You didn’t like me.

I guess I should have know better. I guess I should have been smarter. I guess I should have never fallen for your charming words and your beautiful smile. I guessI should have ran the second I saw you.

But you kept looking at me with those eyes. Those eyes made my stomach dance and flip flop over and over again. You kept looking at me with this intensity that I have never felt before. How could a pair of eyes make me feel that way?

How on earth did I fall for you, just by looking into those eyes?

Maybe I didn’t fall. Maybe it was lust. But man, you had me. You couldve had all of me if you wanted to. And I would have given you my all. I would have given you my everything.

And now as I look back, I don’t understand it. I had no logic. No sense of right and wrong. all I knew was that I wanted you to want me so badly. But you didn’t. And I kept asking and asking and begging. But you said no from the start.

I should have ran the second I saw you. I should have ran the second you so sweetly kissed me on the lips. I should have ran the second you spoke. The second you called me love. The second you held my hand and put your strong arms around me.

I should have walked out after you kissed me gently and hard all at the same time. I should have walked out when I knew I was falling and when I knew you weren’t. I should have stopped myself. Because I knew better than to fall for someone like you. I knew better than to fall for players.

And yet here I am, writing about you.

Here I am thinking about you. Thinking about your eyes and your hands and your lips.

I’m still such a fool for you. I’m still such an idiot for you. I hope I never see you again. Because if I did, I don’t think I would be able to stop staring. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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