Truthfully, he doesn’t care at all. If he did, he would be with you right now. If he did, he would have given you soup when you were sick. If he did, he wouldn’t have ignored you. If he did, you wouldn’t be sitting here thinking about it.
If he truly cared, you wouldn’t be questioning his intentions. And you probably wouldn’t even be reading this essay.
I know you thought that he was going to be different or special. You thought he was going to change his ways, or that you would be the one to get him falling fast. I know you thought that somehow, it had to work out.
He showed interest at first. He probably smiled his charming grin at you and your heart dropped like it hasn’t done in a long time. I bet his eyes made you feel like you were the only one in the room that night. And I bet you believed him.
But that’s the thing about him. You never trusted him completely. You never let your walls down all the way. Because you knew that guys like him were charmers. You knew guys like him could get any girl they wanted. You knew that you could potentially get hurt.
But you liked him anyways.
And it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault he was so goddamn cute. It’s not your fault he said things that made you melt. It’s not your fault he made your knees grow weak. It’s not your fault his eyes made you want him.
So here you are now wondering what you did. Here you are now wondering what you said that made him stop showing interest in you. Here you are now asking yourself so many questions. Here you are now crying about this guy. Here you are now crying about yet another guy.
You’re sitting around wondering what you did wrong, when in reality it’s not about you at all.
This is about him. This is about his issues. This is about his small unwelcoming heart. This is about his inability to fully love. This is about his inability to care. About anyone but himself.
He isn’t busy. He didn’t lose his phone. He didn’t die. He didn’t lose your number.
He just doesn’t give a shit.
You did nothing wrong, dear. You didn’t mess this up. This is not your fault. This is all on him. This is all his wrongdoing. This is his mistake and this will be his regret one day.
Truthfully, you’re better off without the guy who plays his games only to get what he wants and needs. Truthfully, you don’t need someone like that in your life. Truthfully, he doesn’t deserve your love and your beautiful, beautiful heart.
Don’t blame yourself for his faults. Don’t blame yourself for his broken heart. One day you’ll look back on this time in your life and you’ll smile at yourself in the mirror, knowing that he lost the best thing that he could ever have.