You think you miss him. You think you miss the way he held your hand in the summertime, and the way he smiled at you in the winter. You think you miss the way he tasted and the way he breathed in your name.
But the truth is, you just miss love.
You don’t miss his hand. You just miss having a hand to hold. You don’t miss his lips. You just miss having lips to kiss. And you don’t miss the way he held you when you were hurting. You just miss having someone there for you. Having a love that wouldn’t ever leave you. And you miss when you believed that first love meant forever love.
You just miss when you believed.
You miss the high of it all. You miss being wrapped up in the eye of the storm and not being scared of the come down. You miss being so enveloped into someone’s life that you didn’t even have to worry about yours. You miss the pure, innocent, and intoxicating love. The kind that you won’t ever forget. The kind that most people never have.
But please, don’t mistake that loneliness and that hole in your heart, for the absence of him.
You don’t know him anymore. You don’t know that person now. You don’t know what his favorite shoes are anymore. You don’t know his choice of drink, his favorite band, and you certainly don’t know who he smiles at after a long day at work.
You don’t know the boy you used to love. Not now anyway.
So you see, you can’t miss someone that is a stranger to you now. You can’t possibly miss someone that is merely an acquaintance. A ghost from the past. A memory.
This void that you are feeling is not the absence of someone who you used to love. It’s just the absence of love. Of feeling close to someone. Of being able to share your darkest secrets and not hiding away. You miss having someone to laugh with until you are in stitches. You miss having someone to trust. Having someone to adore.
Your ex is far gone by now. He is not the person who you used to love. And you aren’t the same person he loved. I’m sorry but, he is not the thing that you want most in this world. He is not the thing that you long for.
You just long for love.
You long to feel needed and wanted.
You long to be adored.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting love again. Just don’t mistake that longing for missing someone from your past. Don’t mistake that void, for not having him anymore.
You miss love. Not him. You don’t know who is now, but you still know what love is. It’s love that is always going to be forever. Not a boy who left years ago.