What You Will Learn When You Date Someone With Anxiety

Jiří Wagner

While you will learn an immense amount of valuable lessons about yourself and your significant other when dating anybody, dating someone with anxiety is a special feat.

You won’t be prepared for it. You won’t understand it at first. You’ll wonder in your head why this is happening. You’ll wonder, ‘why can’t they just get over it?’

But as time passes, and as your love grows, you’ll slowly but surely begin to get it. You’ll begin to understand that anxiety cannot be healed. You’ll begin to understand that anxiety is not like a broken leg, or a sprained wrist. And you’ll begin to understand that anxiety is a chemical imbalance, not a cry for attention.

Dating an individual with anxiety will be difficult, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. But while you will go through these struggles and climb these steep mountains, you will start becoming a better human being. You’ll start to resemble a human being who has more compassion. Who has more empathy and sensitivity. And who now has the tools to do whatever it takes to provide comfort, stability and love to someone who desperately needs it.

When you date someone with anxiety, you are going to learn to be more empathetic. Individuals with anxiety are crippled with demons that haunt them in their minds. They won’t want to go out some days. They will cry for what seems like a week straight because that’s how powerful anxiety can be. They will push you and try to make you go.

They will do everything in their power to make you leave. Because they are afraid. Afraid you won’t love them when you see them at their worst. Afraid that when you know the truth? You won’t want them anymore.

When you date someone with anxiety, you will learn how to correctly deal with emergencies and serious situations. You will learn through dating this person, that panic attacks are serious. That they aren’t fake. They aren’t pretend. You’ll realize that the person you love is in an immense amount of pain and terror. You’ll slowly learn their triggers, their phobias, and what makes their attacks become stronger.

You’ll learn how to not make anxiety the center point of your relationship. You’ll learn how to make love the essential piece of the puzzle. 

When you date someone with anxiety, you are going to have more compassion inside of your heart. And despite all of the scary moments, and the days that make you want to leave, you aren’t going to.

Because everyone has something that they struggle with. Everyone has demons that haunt their memories. Everyone has their own story. And you’ll know that anxiety doesn’t have to define your relationship, no matter how painful it gets.

You’ll learn that anxiety does not have to ruin your relationship. Because love? It’s stronger than that.

When you date someone with anxiety, after a while you won’t try to fix them anymore. You won’t try to make them do something they won’t want to do. You won’t try to make them face their fears so they can finally ‘cleanse’ themselves of this mental illness. Because you’ll know that it is a part of them. That it is a part of their brain chemistry. That they will always have to tackle this beast with or without you.

So don’t leave when it gets hard. Don’t leave when they push away because their anxiety tells them to do so. Don’t let their need for space keep you down. Don’t let anxiety be the reason your love falls apart.

Because while anxiety is incredibly difficult to deal with. And while it is an incredibly huge monster that can affect any relationship, it’s not stronger than love. So, don’t let it make you run. Don’t let it overpower the feelings you have in your heart.

Don’t you dare let anxiety tear a beautiful and wonderful relationship apart. Don’t let it win. And don’t let it change your mind about the incredible person you are in love with. You won’t ever meet anyone like this person. And you won’t ever get to love anyone as strong and as courageous as they are.  TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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