We never stop to think. Think about the consequences of our actions. Think about the hearts that we break without remorse. We only think of ourselves. We only guard ourselves. We’re so damn scared.
We keep ruining things before they even begin.
We don’t know how to do it. How to say goodbye to someone who we tried to give our hearts to. We don’t know how to let it go. How to let that love run free.
We don’t know how to say goodbye to something that was so close to being permanent. How to let that feeling go. That feeling of almost finding ‘the one’. That feeling of almost making it to the finish line. And we don’t know how to turn away from someone who we used to look at as our home.
So instead of slamming the door in their faces, we watch it slowly close from the wind. Instead of pulling off the bandaid, we slowly let it get washed away. Instead of saying ‘goodbye’ we let it unravel in slow motion. We let the feelings slowly fade.
We become invisible. We pull away. Right when it’s getting good.
We are so scared of saying goodbye, that we pretend it isn’t happening. We shut our eyes. We cover our ears and turn off the lights. We wait for fate to take it’s course instead of taking control.
We wait until there’s nothing left of that love. We wait until those smiles rust away. We wait until the butterflies collapse. We wait until there’s nothing left to do, but to go. We wait until there are no remains on our bedroom floor. We wait until the love disappears.
We don’t know how to turn that love into memories.
We just let it die.
Maybe we’re too scared. Scared of falling so hard that we forget how to breathe. Scared of loving too hard. Of wanting too much. Maybe we are all cowards. Cowards who say they believe in love, but run the second it comes our way.
Maybe we are just too afraid. Too afraid of rejection. Too afraid of loving someone so much, that we don’t remember how to live without them. We are so goddamn scared of finding the perfect person for us. Because what happens when it goes? What happens when they stop smiling at us like they used to in the beginning? What happens when they get to know the real us? The ugly bits and pieces of us.
What happens when they say goodbye after getting to know who we truly are?
So we say goodbye before it falls apart. We slowly let the flowers shrivel up before August comes. We let love leave, just in case our hearts can’t take it when we fall. When we fall and can’t get back up.