Hate To Break It To You, But There Is No Such Thing As ‘The One’

Christopher Windus
Christopher Windus

I used to think when I was younger that there was only going to be one perfect person for me. That there was only one soulmate and one person for me and everyone else was an awful match for me. Of course as I grew up and experienced more of the world, I realized that this idea of ‘the one’ was absolutely ludicrous. And I realized that this idea of ‘the one’ was only limiting and harming my love life instead of improving it.

There are currently 7.5 billion people in the world (and counting). So to say that there is only one person in the entire universe who is the one for you is frankly alarming and it couldn’t be further from the truth.

No person out there is going to be the 100% most perfect person for you. You are never going to meet someone who will automatically turn your world into the land of oz, or into some magical cinderella fairytale.

Relationships aren’t about perfection. They shouldn’t be thought of as something to ‘fix’ you, or as something to make you ‘whole’ again.

Everyone has flaws. Everyone fucks up. Everyone is an asshole at some point in their lives. Everyone has bruises on their hearts that they hide from the outside world. Everyone has baggage they wish they didn’t have to carry.

Don’t limit yourself to just one person. Because honestly, this is only going to result in you getting your heart broken over and over again.

If you limit yourself to finding ‘the one’, you are going to miss out on other opportunities and amazing experiences. You are going to miss out on life changing adventures and moments that will live with you forever. You are going to get so caught up in this false notion of finding a soulmate, that you won’t be happy in the moment. And above all, you won’t be happy with yourself.

The idea of finding ‘the one’ is telling people that they won’t be ok until they find that person. It’s society saying, you need to find that person or you won’t be happy. It’s society saying, you need to find the one for you, and if you don’t? You’re a failure and you aren’t lovable.

Stop searching and looking. Stop thinking that one person is going to transform your life. Stop putting so much hope and belief into someone who you haven’t even met yet.

Start focusing on what you have now. Focus on the beautiful people that surround your life right now, and focus on making yourself whole.

You don’t need ‘the one’ to complete your life. You don’t need a soulmate to turn your life into magic. They don’t exist. The only person who has the capability of making you as happy as you can be, is you.

You’re going to meet a lot of amazing people in your lifetime and you’re 100% going to have more than just one soulmate and lover. And guess what? Even if it doesn’t work out, you’re going to learn and grow from each and every person you meet.

But for now, love yourself. Be capable of finding happiness within your own heart and within your life. And for now, be your own damn soulmate. Be your own damn true love. Your ‘one true love’ is right in front you, looking in the mirror back at you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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