You’d like to think that you’re the one in the relationship who is more grounded. That you’re the one who keeps their cool, who loves hard, but not ‘too’ hard. You’d like to think that you’re not the overly lovey-dovey type of person. That you’re not the one who is ‘too much’,
But then you come to the realization that you are ‘that’ person.
That you’re the one who is always texting them first. That you’re the one who is always making the plans and always making the reservations. That you’re actually the one who is taking the initiative and who is doing the work.
You’re the one who drives to them more often. You’re the one who sends the good night texts and good morning messages. You’re the one who lets them go out with their friends leaving you alone. You’re the one who trusts them with your whole heart. And you’re the one who cries after they leave you for their trip back home.
That you would be the one to get so caught up in being in love, that you forgot who you were without them.
You never thought that you would lose yourself while loving someone else. You never thought that you’d be the one who wanted to die without this person. Who couldn’t breathe without their love. Who would rather sleep all day than to face the sun without them by your side.
You never thought that you would be the one to care more. To be the one to be at their side as soon as they called out your name. To be the one to ignore all the little signs that they didn’t feel the same as you. To be the one to ignore their half-hearted love, when you had wildfires in your heart when you so much as glanced at them.
It’s easy to lose yourself in love. It’s easy to find your self-worth in that relationship, and to lose it when it’s gone. It’s so easy for love to spin out of control. For your heart to dive too deep, for your soul to care too much. It’s so easy to be addicted to the way they say your name or the way they kiss you ever so gently.
It’s easy to become someone who you never thought you would be.
To be the kind of person who falls apart without them. To be the kind of person to cry your heart out when they tell you it’s over. To be the kind of person who loves someone else more than you love yourself. And to be the kind of person who let love sweep them up in a tornado of tears and goodbyes.
When this happens to you, when you become the person who loves someone else more than you love yourself, know that you won’t be stuck at this place forever. That you won’t feel so weak for the rest of your life. One day you’ll get back to loving yourself and to cherishing your own heart. One day, you’ll get back to the old you, the you who wanted to live for yourself, not for anyone else.