The Truth About Why Most Men Can’t Handle Strong Women


Let’s get this out of the way, I love boys. Ever since I was 6, they have been an important part of my life and identity. You could have even called me boy crazy from that time all the way up to college. 

But, growing up, I have noticed a trend that seems to keep going and going. I’ve seen the type of guys who holler at women across the street, making them walk faster and pull out their phones just in case. I’ve seen men call women ‘bitches’ and puff up their chests laughing with their group of guy friends.

I’ve witnessed these so called ‘men’ humiliate women, calling them out on their sexual tendencies and slut shaming them for sleeping with guys for fun. I’ve seen the double standard way too often that I care to admit. I’ve seen the sexism. I’ve heard it. And I’ve experienced it. All of us women have. 

And the truth is, some men just can’t handle the fact that women are growing stronger. They can’t seem to grasp the idea that women weren’t born to serve them.

They can’t come to terms with the fact that women nowadays aren’t going to treat them like kings.

Even in the year of 2016, sometimes it feels as if we have made no progress whatsoever. What about those group of guys who still think they own the world? What about those men who think women have to have the house cleaned up and have dinner made by 6pm with their makeup and hair done perfectly?

At the age of 23, I have met men who scare me with the way they talk to women and the way they talk about women. I have met men who think that the world revolves around them, and who talk with so much confidence in their voices, that it could make anyone else tremble.

I know this isn’t every guy. I know there are feminist guys out there who truly want us to have the same rights as they do. I know there are guys out there who know how powerful women are. And I know it isn’t every single guy that I have come across.

But the truth is, some men can’t handle strong women.

A strong woman doesn’t need a man to help her with anything. She doesn’t need your help with carrying a bag of groceries inside the house. She doesn’t need you to hold the door for her. She doesn’t need you to punch the guy who hits on her at the bar. She doesn’t need you to defend her honor. She can do that by herself.

Men are so used to being the protector. To being the guy that saves the girl. But truth be told, we don’t need saving anymore. And we never did.

A strong woman won’t wait for anyone. She won’t wait for her crush to finally ask her out. She won’t wait years pining for a man to love her back. No, she will move on with her life. She will get what she wants, when she wants.

And she won’t apologize for it.

A strong woman won’t do anything that she doesn’t want to. She isn’t going to have sex with you on a first date if you pressure her to. She isn’t going to date you just because you ask her to. She isn’t going to keep on dating you just for the sake of comfort. She is the lead character in her own story.

And you are not her prince charming.

To date a strong woman, you need to have confidence within yourself. You need to be ‘man’ enough to hold your own. You aren’t made of steel and neither is she. You need to be able to show your emotion and vulnerability to her, and you need to be able to be truthful with her. 

You don’t need to prove yourself with physical strength anymore. You don’t need to show us how strong you are by protecting us, or giving us financial security. You just need to be there for us when things get tough. And you need to recognize that we are strong. And we are capable of so, so many things.

So, to all you men out there who want to date us?

Just treat us with respect. Listen to us. Comfort us when our hearts are in pain. And we will do the same exact thing for you. I promise. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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