The True Difference Between Settling And Being In Love


Settling makes sense. It’s all logic and numbers. It’s everything that looks good on pen and paper. It’s having every little box checked off from your ‘perfect significant other’ list. It makes all the sense in the world, at least at the time.

Falling in love is anything but logical. It’s messy, it’s crazy, it’s a rollercoaster of every single emotion you could think of. It’s bold. It is vivid.

Settling is clean. It’s never coloring outside of the lines. It’s safe. It’s comfort. Because it’s nothing that you haven’t already experienced. It’s driving down the same dirt road everyday with no speed bumps to catch you off guard. It’s the same kind of smile, not overly excited, but simple. Settling is just plain simple.

Falling in love is driving down new roads everyday. It’s experiencing what it feels like to have the wind whip around you, allowing you no control whatsoever. It is a tornado of intimacy and pure magic that you never want to let go of. Falling in love is incredibly scary, yes.

But by god is it worth the fear. And my god, is it powerful.

Settling isn’t powerful at all. It is weak. It’s easy. It’s boring. Because it’s not real love at all. It’s being so scared that you won’t ever meet someone else, that you settle for the easy one. It’s being so afraid that you won’t experience the best ever again, that you settle for the next best thing.

But settling isn’t brave. It’s the falling in love that’s brave.

Falling in love is believing in someone so much, that you risk falling out of love for them. Falling in love is loving yourself enough to let someone carry your heart. Falling in love is letting someone into your life, and trusting them with your whole soul. Falling in love is the most powerful thing on this earth. Because at the end of the day, love is all that we want. And when we find it? It is all that we need.

Settling isn’t what we are meant to do. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t let fear get in the way of your future. Settling is mediocre. It is bland. It’s not what will get you to wake up in the morning with fire in your eyes. It’s not going to have you smiling from ear to ear knowing you have someone who feels the same as you. It’s not going to do anything for you, but hurt you.

So, fall in love.

Fall in love with yourself. Fall in love with everyday, and every little challenge that comes your way. Fall in love with every choice that you have. Fall in love with the sunset and how the sky can magically turn from blue to yellow in a second.

And then? Fall in love with someone else. Fall in love with every part of them. And let them fall in love with you. Let them get to know what makes you smile and what makes you dob. Let them hold your hand, and teach you things you never even knew were capable of doing.

Fall in love. And watch yourself grow. Watch yourself change. Watch yourself color outside the lines of black and white. And experience technicolor. Experience pure magic. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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