How To Forgive Yourself After Breaking Someone’s Heart


Breaking someone’s heart is never going to be easy. It might even feel worse than being the one who got dumped, because on top of that loss, you feel guilty as hell.

You never go into a relationship wanting to be the heartbreaker. You never go into a relationship wanting to hurt the other person. But, sometimes feelings change. People change. And your heart can change too.

I’ve had my heartbroken before and I would never wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy. Not only is it painful, but it’s humiliating, shocking and down right cruel. It feels like they did it on purpose, just to make you suffer. But in hindsight, they were just doing what was right for them at the time.

Not only have I been heartbroken, but I also have had the terrible deed of unfortunately breaking someone else’s heart. And my god, was it heart-wrenching.

It hurts. To see someone you care about look at you in shock and to grab onto you, trying to make sense of it all. It hurts. To see someone you still love cry right in front of you, begging you to change your mind. It fucking hurts. To see that you made someone you care about break.

You made them hurt. You made them cry. You made them ache. And you curse yourself for it. You feel like you’re a terrible human being. You feel like you don’t deserve anything good in life, and that karma will come back for you.

But, the truth of the matter is, you need to follow your own heart even if it’s not with theirs.

You need to follow your instincts no matter the people that you hurt. If you feel like this someone isn’t right for you, you can’t stay out of guilt. You can’t stay for their sake.

No matter how much it hurts you, you need to do the right thing for yourself even if it breaks another person’s heart.

I don’t like to disappoint people. I don’t like to hurt people. And I wouldn’t ever want to make someone who I truly care about hurt like I have hurt before. But, in some circumstances you have to say goodbye. And you have to watch them suffer- because of what you are saying to them.

And you have to forgive yourself for this.

You have to realize that you can’t please everyone in this world. You can’t say yes to everything to make other people happy. You have to be selfish at times. You have to do things for yourself. And, this unfortunately means that in your lifetime, you are going to hurt someone. You are going to break people’s hearts. You are going to hurt people’s egos. And people are going to break yours too.

At the end of the day, you are only one person.

You only have one heart and one soul. You won’t be able to make everyone happy. You won’t be able to love everyone the same way that they love you, and you won’t be able to feel connected with everyone you come across.

So, forgive yourself for it all. Forgive yourself for causing someone harm. Forgive yourself for causing them pain. And let it go.

Maybe it seems selfish to some. Maybe this sounds harsh. But, I would rather be real than play pretend. And I would rather tell my truth, than to lie. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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