I’m a strong person. I’m a strong woman. And I’m happy on my own. In fact, I prefer being alone with my thoughts. I really do… until I end up thinking of you.
It doesn’t happen all the time. It doesn’t happen every night. But when it happens, it’s strong. And the pit in my stomach doesn’t seem to go away. Maybe I’m lonely. Maybe I really do miss you. Or maybe I just long for the memories of what we could’ve been.
I met you when I was a teenager. I didn’t know what love was. I didn’t know what love meant. I didn’t even know how it felt, or what it even sounded like.
But then I saw you.
You had kind eyes, and a smile that made me want your mouth on mine. You had a gentleness about you and a way with words, that left me speechless. I know you weren’t the kind of guy to spark every girl’s interest. But you were the boy who sparked mine.
And you did it. You made me fall hard. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. You just did. You did it. And I fell. My god, I fell. And now at 23, as I lay here without you by my side, I miss you.
It’s nice sometimes. To know I had something so special that made saying goodbye so hard. And to know that at least once, I got to experience true, real, big love.
But I still miss you. And I can’t help but wonder, do you miss me too?
I thought this feeling would go away as months and years passed. I thought your ghost would give me peace after a while. Yet, my mind is full of your lips on mine and our conversations that always lasted till 2 am, and the way you always looked at me.
I miss the way you looked at me.
You’re always going to be the one person I compare all my other relationships to. You’re always going to be the one person who I mark as the one who got away. The one who could’ve been mine. And maybe it’s unhealthy to hold you to such high standards. Maybe it’s unhealthy for me to compare and contrast others to you.
But at the end of the day, you’re the only thing I know to be true.
And you’re the only one who I truly ever wanted.