If You Aren’t Going To Make An Effort, Then Don’t Plan On Ever Dating Me


I used to think that men matured with age. I used to think that men got more skillful with age, like you know, with talking and stuff like that. Boy, was I wrong. It seems to me that their peak was in high school. 

Of course, not every guy out there is terrible. I bet there are plenty of mature and kind men out there that I have yet to meet. But, as of now, I don’t see anyone.

And as of now, I haven’t met anyone who is worth my time.

Here’s the thing. I’m not going to waste my time anymore. Time is precious. Time is limited. And time won’t wait for anybody. I’m not looking for a guy with the nicest smile, or with the cutest pick up line. I’m not looking for a guy with the nicest washboard abs, or with the biggest biceps.

I am looking for a quality guy. And honestly, I think that’s something we all need to do. That’s somebody we all need to wait for. I don’t care anymore about having arm candy. I don’t care anymore about how everything ‘looks’ on the outside.

I am looking for a man to make a god damn effort.

I don’t want a cheesy pick up line. I don’t want to be booty called. I don’t want the games. I am so, so tired of all the games.

I want a man to actually try. You think it would be easy to find, but alas I have not had much luck recently. I want a man with integrity. I want someone who respects my needs and my wishes. I want to date someone who actually treats me like I’m a human being.

I am not an object. I am not a toy. I am a person.

And I deserve to feel wanted and needed by a man who sees me as a human. It seems ridiculous to have to write this. It seems pathetic, to say the least. You would think a strong woman could get a guy with the snap of their fingers. You would thing an independent woman wouldn’t have to say these things.

But guess what? We can get the guy. Us strong women can get any guy we want. But I don’t want quantity. I want quality. I want a guy who smiles at me with kindness, and looks at me with admiration. I don’t want him to look at me with hungry eyes and with a sinister smile. I don’t want lust. I want true love.

And lately I have been wondering to myself, is that too much to ask? TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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