You’re allowed to give up. You’re allowed to wallow in self pity. You’re allowed to break down for what seems like the hundredth time. You’re allowed to fall down on purpose.
As children, we are told that we can do anything as long as we don’t give up. We are told that we can do whatever we put our minds to, as long as we try hard enough. We are told that failure is not an option. We are told that if we are sad, to dry our tears and move on. We are taught to keep our chins up, and to keep moving forward.
But, what if we don’t want to move forward for a little bit? What if we don’t want to dry our tears? What if failure is our only option?
We all fall down. We all fail sometimes. We all struggle with our dreams, and sometimes have to push them aside. So, why isn’t it acceptable to do this? Why do we never let ourselves hit rock bottom? Why is it never ok not to be ok?
So, go ahead and do it. Do the one thing that you were told not to ever do. Give up. Fail. Break down. Really, really, fall hard with your face planted onto the concrete. Feel what it is like to truly be sad. Feel all of the hurt that you have brushed aside for too long. Cry the hardest you have since you lost your first love. Really feel what it’s like to see no light at the end of the tunnel. Feel what having no hope is like.
You are a human being.
You aren’t a robot programmed to always have a smile on your face. You are going to go through shit in your life that will truly test your limits. You are going to go through heartache over and over again. And you are going to fail, just like me, and just like every other single person on this earth.
You’re allowed to give up. You get the privilege to do it. You have the stability to do it.
Because, giving up, just like anything else, will not be permanent. It’s not going to be forever.
The harder you fall, the taller you will stand later in life. When you lose yourself, you’re going to eventually meet a better you. When you experience the kind of grief that you think will never end, you will learn from it and slowly heal.
So, go ahead and do what no one else has given you permission to do. Do what you have never allowed yourself to do. Stop faking that smile. Stop faking that laugh. Truly, hit rock bottom.
You’ll be surprised by how liberating it will feel to be at the lowest of lows, and to be ok with letting yourself go to that dark place. Allow yourself to feel things you have repressed for so long. Allow yourself to crumble.
Give up. And then let yourself rebuild. Give up. And then let yourself heal afterwards.
Give up. And watch how high you will rise. Give up. And truly experience what it’s like to lose faith in everything, and then how it feels to get it all back again. Give up. And watch how fast you fly. Watch yourself begin anew. Watch yourself succeed. Watch yourself fall in love with yourself all over again.