Why Modern Dating Is Causing Our Generation To Lose The Ability To Love Deeply

Brooke Cagle
Brooke Cagle

Let’s face it, our generation definetely does not take the cake for the most romantic and loving one. While we are (usually) smart and are go-getters who take charge of our own lives, we don’t know how to date. And more importantly than that, we don’t know how to love. 

No wonder we all obsess over old romance black and white movies, that show the kind man wooing his sweet lover. No wonder we look back on the dialogue on old 1950’s films, in search of screenwriters who actually got what love was all about.

No wonder ‘The Notebook’ was set in the 1940’s and not in the 2000’s.

Today, we care a lot more about our social status. Our Instagram accounts. And about what we look like to everyone else.

Today, we care about banging the hot guy from the bar. We care about arm candy. We care about the notches on our belts. We care about instant gratification. We don’t think about tomorrow. We don’t think about what we actually want in the long term.

I know not all of us are like this of course. I know we are mostly decent and kind people (hopefully). I know we all want love. I know we all deserve it.

But modern dating is quite frankly fu*#ing it up for us.

Instead of swiping right and left on our dating apps, why not look up from your phone? Why not look at what is around you? Why not look at who is around you? Our phones make it easy to ignore our surroundings. They make it so easy to avoid human interaction.

But that’s the whole problem.

We don’t know how to strike up conversations anymore. Instead, we exchange kisses and texts. We don’t know how to ask people out anymore. Instead, we just hook up with them and hope they have feelings for us too. We don’t know how to love anymore.

Instead, we keep searching for the next best thing. We are wolves on the prowl. And we don’t know how to stop. We don’t even know what we are looking for.

Get off your phones. Chat with the guy next to you on the plane. Tell the guy at the bar you like his smile. Ask out the guy you have always wanted to but have been to0 scared to do it before. Take that girl from your English out on a proper date. Actually look at people. Ask them what they like. Ask them what they don’t. Ask them about their values. Ask them about their family.

And when you fall in love, don’t let it get away from you. Don’t let the best thing that has ever happened to you, go.

If you find a boy who treats you right, don’t break up with him to explore your options. If you find a girl who loves you for you, don’t break up with her because you are young and free. When you find love, don’t let it slip through your fingers. And don’t look at love through a screen. Look at it, in it’s true form. Look at it, dead on. And don’t ever let it fadeThought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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