When he comes back, don’t run to the door with loud footsteps.
When he knocks on the door, don’t peak at the window, in hopes he will be standing there. When he comes back, don’t feel your face flush in anticipation.
When he comes back, don’t run to the mirror to check yourself out. When he keeps knocking, don’t turn the knob to greet him. When you open up the door, don’t give him a sweet smile and a ‘hey’. When you open up the door, don’t invite him in and give him a hug that reminds him of what he missed.
And don’t take him back. Don’t ever take him back, when he comes back.
When he comes back, take a deep breath. Feel a funny knot in your stomach pinch you. When he knocks at your door, remember what happened. Remember that he left you with no regrets. He left you and blindsided you. He left you and didn’t think twice. He didn’t think twice about you.
Remember how long it took for you to get over him. Remember how you still aren’t over it. And remember as he is knocking, that he isn’t coming back because he loves you. He isn’t coming back because he sees forever with you. No, he’s coming back with his tail between his legs, and with a sorry that means nothing to you now. He’s coming back for a half-ass apology and for all the wrong reasons.
He’s only coming back for his sake. Not yours.
He never loved you like you loved him. He never looked at you like you looked at him. He didn’t see the universe inside of you. But, you thought that he did. You thought you were on the same page.
So, when he is on his knees begging for you back, remember how he ended it. Remember what he did. Forgive him. Wish him compassion and wish him well. But don’t fall down the rabbit hole again. Don’t think he has changed. A boy like that never will. A boy like that will never grow up and be the man that you deserve.
So, when you open up that door, and see his face light up with all the words he never said to you, slam the door in his face.
Slam that door with all of the words that you want to slam back at him.
And don’t look back. Don’t you dare look back on the boy who came back crawling. Slam that door. Hard. And walk away just like he did.