What Your Ex Boyfriend’s Name Says About His Personality

blaireblackmon
blaireblackmon

1. Chris: The one who got away and you’re so happy he’s gone.

2. Matt: The one who made out with your best friend. In front of you.

3. Richard: The type of guy who thinks he is way cooler than he actually is.

4. Luke: The guy who everyone secretly thinks is gay because he is just that perfect.

5. Pete: The guy who always sexts you even after the breakup.

6. Charles: The type of guy who only talks with pick up lines.

7. Larry: The guy that professed his love to you on your second date.

8. Dylan: The type of guy who has a list of all the girls he has been with.

9. Joe: The guy who hooked up with your best friend the night after you broke up.

10. Nate: The guy who still sends you happy birthday texts with a wink face emoji.

11. Brad: The guy who loved his mom more than you.

12. Robby: The guy who you dated out of pity.

13. Dan: The sweetheart who you will always love.

14. Randy: The guy who always made up the worst jokes and said them at the worst moments.

15. Paul: Too. Much. Hair. Gel.

16. Ethan: The guy who everyone wanted to date. An Ethan is always going to be prom king.

17. Kelly: The guy who keeps asking you out to dinner years after the break up happened.

18. Miles: The guy who left you to travel the world and ‘find himself’.

19. Travis: The bad boy who smashed your heart into a million pieces.

20. Tom: The guy who still is in love with you.

21. Ben: The guy who had the personality of a rock.

22. Alex: The frat boy who will never grow out of his college phase.

23. Will: The guy who will forever have your heart.

24. Alan: The guy you dated just to help you with your homework.

25. Tim: The guy with the hot tattoos.

26. Anthony: The guy you were with for a month. He probably broke up with you because he wanted to ‘explore other options’.

27. Billy: The guy who you never ever trusted.

28. Sam: The guy who you thought was a gem, until he told you he only wanted to hook up with you.

29. Toby: The guy who was TOO nice.

30. Greg: The guy who showered you with gifts every time he saw you, and then ghosted you out of the blue.

31. James: The guy who cared more about his looks than you did.

32. Steven: The guy who cared more about seeing sports than seeing you.

33. Jose: The cuddle bug who snored way too loudly.

34. Doug: Your first love who you still can’t get over.

35. Roy: The guy who broke up with you over a fight about what you two were going to have for dinner.

36. Wayne: The guy who you only dated because your parent’s loved him so much.

37. Louise: The guy who always got way more excited than you did about  pedicures and manicures.

38. Eugene: The mama’s boy who brought you a single red rose on every one of your dates.

39. Russell: The guy who dated the gym more than he ever dated you.

40. Carlos: Your best friend turned boyfriend, who broke your heart as to not ‘ruin your friendship’.

41. Zack: The older and more mature guy who had a thing for red wine.

42. Keith: The jokester who always said inappropriate things at family dinners.

43. Philip: The one who got away.

44. Ronny: The tough guy with a big heart.

45. Isaac: The one who broke up with you because he didn’t see a future with you.

46. Ian: The guy who you always had a crush on, and never expected to finally be able to date him. Turns out, he wasn’t all that great.

47. Bruce: The guy who had a love affair with protein powder.

48. Ray: The guy who you broke up with because his older brother was way hotter.

49. Jarrett: The guy who’s heart broke when you ended it.

50. Kurt: The guy who treated you like a princess, and to this day you still wish you were together. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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